Free Four: the full story
by KATO13
Summary: Maybe I'll even be strong.No matter what, I am free. Finally Free. Hey so most of you have read Veronica Roth's Free Four, and people are itching for the full story so I tried my best I hope you like it and please R&R! Divergent in Tobias's POV!
1. Chapter 1

**Prologue**

I wake breathing heavily and fast. My almost six-foot frame contorted- my legs pulled in close, almost to my chest. It is still very early in the morning, I think, but I'm not going back to sleep. Because it is here, in real life, my dream is about to come true, and I'm about to escape my nightmare.

I look at the picture to my side. In Abnegation, we don't get to have pictures, but my mother somehow got a picture of herself. She gave it to me two days before she died. A little before that, she gave me a blue sculpture to hide- something else I'm not really supposed to have.

In a few hours, I'll be leaving this room for the last time. Everyone told me I was all my father had left- but he's about to be like me- left with nothing. I decide to get up and I clean my room up- leaving the blue sculpture out for my father to see once I'm gone. I slip the picture into the back pocket of my gray pants and button up my gray shirt.

When I took my aptitude test, I was told that I was something very dangerous- Divergent. That means that I could belong in more than one faction. For me, I could belong easily in Abnegation or Dauntless. For me, this choice will be easy.

I leave that house quickly, only risking a glance at my father's face before boarding a bus alone.

The bumpy ride to where I choose my destiny seems too long. I feel other Abnegation eyes burning holes into my clothes, like they know- _they know_- I'm about to betray their faction, and never look back.

Keeping my eyes down, I follow another Abnegation girl about to choose her future until I end up in the right place. I squirm in between the others until I am in my alphabetical order. Eaton is between Durham and Esting.

We go in reverse order, each sixteen-year-old cutting their hand, and dropping their blood on the element that represents their chosen faction.

"Tobias Eaton." This is it.

I walk carefully up the aisle and someone presses a knife into my palm. I don't know who. My vision is hazed.

I don't even flinch when I let the blade penetrate my skin. Dark red oozes onto my skin, and I walk directly to the flaming coals. My blood makes a sizzling and dripping sound when it falls.

I am a Dauntless initiate.

I am no longer Abnegation.

I am no longer my scared self.

Maybe I'll even be strong.

No matter what, I am free.

Finally. Free.

**1**

I wake to a start by the crack of a whip. It's just my imagination of course, but my

whole body is tensed and I've broken out into a cold sweat. I look at the small clock next to my bed: 1:36….P.M. I usually don't sleep in so late- past breakfast and lunch, but I really don't have much to do until later- when the Dauntless initiates will be coming to the compound for the first time. I run a hand through my hair, it's not as long as the other guys here in Dauntless, but I've let it grow out a little. I sit up and cold air hits me in the chest. I swing my feet down to the wooden floor, and stretch, the muscles in my back tight from a workout I did yesterday.

I walk down the dark corridors of the Dauntless compound toward the members' entrance. The initiates have probably already jumped on and off their first train by now, and will be waiting on the rooftop to see who will be the first to jump off the roof this year. From the roof, they will only see an opening in the cement below, and will not know about the net I stand by now.

I hear a few gasps and know that the first jumper has gone. A girl with blond hair hits the net. She's so small that she barely looks sixteen. She peers back up through the hole she fell through and begins to laugh uncontrollably. She laughs so hard, I almost join her. Along with a few of the others, I reach a hand out toward her shaking body. She grabs my hand, curling delicate little fingers around me. She struggles across the net, and almost rolls right into the floor. I catch her and notice her gray clothes. Abnegation. I release her arms once she gets her feet under her.

"Thank you," the little Abnegation girl says.

"Can't believe it," Lauren says behind me, another instructor. She looks at the girl, "A Stiff, the first to jump? Unheard of."

I feel a twinge, Lauren doesn't seem to respect her, but I do.

"There's a reason why she left them, Lauren," I say. I turn to the girl. "What's your name?"

"Um…" she stops herself, like she's forgotten, or she doesn't want her name.

"Think about it," I say, a smile tugging at the edge of my mouth. "You don't get to pick again." I pull my glance away from her for a second.

"Tris," she says, grabbing my attention again. It seems like a nickname or something, but I don't ask.

"Tris," Lauren says, echoing her. "Make the announcement, Four," she says, turning her gaze to me.

A crowd of Dauntless behind us whoops, but does not drown out the sound of a dropping, screaming initiate. The crowd's noise morphs into a laugh, then back to rucketous yelling.

I put a hand on the Abnegation girl's back, which stiffens. "Welcome to Dauntless," I say to her.

**Hey! I hope you liked it! Please review! I have the whole thing written and I'll try to update it all ASAP!**


	2. Chapter 2

**2**

We wait for the rest of the initiates to enter, then Lauren and I take them down a tunnel that will lead to the compound. The stone walls make the footsteps echo, and the darkness makes it feel like there are more of us than there really are. We stop and turn towards the initiates.

"This is where we divide," Lauren tells them. "The Dauntless- born initiates are with me. I assume _you _don't need a tour of the place." A smile spreads across her face, and the Dauntless- born initiates follow her into a branching tunnel. Only nine initiates are left with me- the transfers. I look out and notice there are no Amity transfers this year. Erudite and Candor have a few each. Tris is the only initiate from Abnegation. I guess that's what makes her stand out to me, along with her small form. I pull my eyes from her and try to look at the initiates as a group.

"Most of the time I work in the control room, but for the next few weeks, I am your instructor," I say. "My name is Four."

"Four? Like the number?" a tall, dark-skinned Candor girl asks me.

I don't really like questions. "Yes," I say. "Is there a problem?"

"No," she replies, her posture straightening a little.

"Good." I say. "We're about to go into the Pit, which you will someday learn to love. It-" I'm interrupted again.

The same girl lets out a nosy laugh. "The Pit?" she asks. "Clever name."

I'm really tired of her now- I don't like questions, but I hate being interrupted. I walk up to her, and lean in, eyes lowered. I stay there to make her uncomfortable. "What's your name?" I ask, keeping an even tone.

"Christina," the word barely escapes her mouth and comes out high- pitched and slightly shaky.

"Well Christina," I say, "if I wanted to put up with Candor smart- mouths, I would have joined their faction," I say, allowing a little venom in my words. "The first lesson you will learn from me is to keep your mouth shut. Got that?"

Her head bobbles rapidly. I turn around and walk, listening to the quiet patter of initiates. Maybe I was a little harsh. She deserved it. I continue to walk through the tunnel- eyes trained forward, steps practically soundless. I finally reach the end and I push two doors open and the Pit is revealed before us. The Pit is pretty much a huge hole in the ground that ends in a glass building that reaches aboveground. Etched into the sides of rocks are everything a normal faction would have.

"If you follow me," I say. "I'll show you the chasm." I give a wave for them in the direction I'm going. I take them on a right turn to a darker area. My hand skims along the clammy barrier that overlooks the chasm: a waterfall that end pile of rocks, then slows into a river.

"The chasm reminds us that there is a fine line between bravery and idiocy!" I yell, so they can hear me above the crashing water. "A daredevil jump off this ledge will end your life. It has happened before and it will happen again. You've been warned." I don't personally know anyone who has done it, but in my initiation year, a drunk man jumped off the ledge and died instantly. I don't look out at the waterfall too long. It's not terribly tall, but heights are not my thing- at all. I walk away, and the initiates follow me. I'm only two years older than them- eighteen- but I fell like I'm leading a bunch of little kids. I almost want to laugh, because from my angle they remind me of a bunch of baby ducks, following their mother around or something. I take them across the Pit and into the dining hall.

When we walk in, the Dauntless rise up from their chairs. They make a lot of noise- as usual- yelling, fist pumps, feet slamming against the ground- as they welcome their new initiates. I decide to sit with a few of them during their first lunch.

I plop down next to Tris, and try not to smile. I remember my first encounter with Dauntless food- inspecting it carefully, taking small bites to test it. Tris inspects her food now, a hamburger, but there might as well be a huge question mark plastered on her face. I touch her with my elbow and she looks up from her food.

"It's beef," I say. "Put this on it," I hand her a little bowl with ketchup in it.

"You've never had a hamburger before?" Christina asks her, a look of shock slapping her face.

"Stiffs eat plain food," I say, nodding to her.

"Why?" She asks. She clearly doesn't get Abnegation.

"Extravagance is considered self- indulgent and unnecessary," she says, still poking at her hamburger.

"No wonder you left," she says, as if food is the only reason she believes Tris left the Abnegation.

"Yeah," she rolls her eyes. "It was just because of the food."

I suppress a smile.

I notice that the dining hall has become much too quiet. I look over to the entrance, where Eric walks in. Eric: former Erudite. Current Jerk. He was in my initiation class. He's obviously adapted to Dauntless standards though; face piercings and long dark hair. He radiates anger and unhappiness.

"Who's that?" Christina whispers, obviously receiving the vibes by her tone.

"His name is Eric," I say. "He's a Dauntless leader." Unfortunately.

"Seriously? But he's so young." She replies, eyebrows raised.

I look at her. "Age doesn't matter here."

Eric walks over and sits next to me. Lovely. I should probably introduce them to Eric, but I really don't want to. So I don't, but that doesn't help anything.

"Well aren't you going to introduce me?" Eric asks, almost in fake- pleasant voice, and nods to the girls.

"This is Tris and Christina," I say.

"Ooh, a Stiff," Eric says, smiling a mean smile. "We'll see how long you last."

Anger bubbles up inside of me. If she came here, it doesn't matter what she looks like, there's something Dauntless in her. I don't know why I suddenly want to defend her, I guess because we share a common background in Abnegation, but I swallow the words forming in my mouth.

Eric taps his fingers on the table, and looks at me, superiority reflecting in his eyes.

"What have you been doing lately, Four?" he asks me.

I shrug my left shoulder. "Nothing really," my body tightens and my posture is…Stiff.

"Max tells me he keeps trying to meet with you, and you don't show up." Eric says. "He requested that I find out what's going on with you."

I study Eric's pierced face before carefully saying, "Tell him that I am satisfied with the position I currently hold."

"So he wants to give you a job," Eric says, as if putting puzzle pieces together.

"So it would seem," I say- it's not like I absolutely love this position, but I don't want another one.

"And you aren't interested." He says, eyes curious.

"I haven't been interested for two years," I say, exhausted by talking with him.

"Well," he says. "Let's hope he gets the point, then."

He slaps me on the shoulder- not hard enough to be a real hit, but much harder than any friendly gesture. He finally gets up and walks away.

"Are you two…friends?" Tris asks me.

"We were in the same initiate class," I say. "He transferred from Erudite," I'm trying to avoid the real question there.

"Were you a transfer too?" she asks now. Did I mention I don't like questions?

"I though I would only have trouble with the Candor asking too many questions." I say. "Now I've got Stiffs, too?" I hope she's got the picture.

"It must be because you're so approachable," she replies. "You know. Like a bed of nails."

Most people don't talk to me like that, and I allow a sliver of anger to course through my body as I turn to stare at her. I expect her to look away, but she won't. There's something soft and scared deep in her eyes, that makes me like her eyes, but something up front, a determination, I guess, that makes me respect her more.

"Careful, Tris," I say. She really needs to be. That determination could hurt her here. Something in me doesn't want her hurt.

Someone calls out my name, and I try to listen over the clatter of the hall. After we finish eating, I slip away and up to the empty fear landscape room. I go in my fear landscape all the time, where you face your fears. Me? Same ones. Every time. I hold the syringe that will take me to my landscape and my hand shakes. I can't. I put the syringe back in the box. I walk back to my apartment, and fall asleep. I dream all night of staring into the soft and scared part of Tris's eyes. I don't know why.

**Hey! Please review I'd love your feedback. Good? Bad? Tell me!**


	3. Chapter 3

**3**

The next morning I meet the initiates in the training room. They all look a little sleepy- most of them puffy eyed- probably crying of homesickness last night. That was one part of initiation I missed out on. The first night we were they, I cried tears of happiness and freedom as I fell asleep, but I doubt that any of these initiates had those tears last night. I can't keep my eyes from skimming to Tris's. Puffy as the others, her eyes look so vulnerable, though she still seems to be giving off a strong vibe. She refuses to be defeated. That's good. I walk up in front of the initiates, and they quiet down.

"The first thing you will learn today is how to shoot a gun. The second thing is how to win a fight." I say. I give each one a gun, willing my eyes not to look into Tris's as I pass her. "Thankfully, if you are here, you already know how to get on and off a moving train, so I don't need to teach you that," I add. After handing out all the guns, I stand in front of them again. "Initiation is divided into three stages. We will measure your progress and rank you according to your performance in each stage. The stages are not weighed equally in determining your final rank, so it is possible, though difficult, to drastically improve your rank over time." I pause a minute before continuing. "Therefore each stage of initiation is intended to prepare you in a different way. The first stage is primarily physical; the second, primarily emotional; the third, primarily mental. For some reason my mind flips to Tris, and I hope she'll be able to take it all.

"But what…" an initiate named Peter yawns, breaking his sentence. "What does firing a gun have to do with…bravery?"

I twirl my own gun and move the barrel to Peter's forehead, clicking the gun so the bullet is ready to fire. Of course I won't fire, but Peter stops- mid yawn. I think he's in shock.

"Wake. Up." I say angrily. "You are holding a loaded gun, you idiot. Act like it." I may be Dauntless, but I also believe people need to be careful. Life is a fragile thing.

I move the gun away from Peter, who glares.

"And to answer your question… you are far less likely to soil your pants and cry for your mother if you're prepared to defend yourself," I say. I stop my pacing, turn, and continue, both in talking and in pacing. "This is also information you may need later in stage one. So, watch me."

I turn towards a wall lined with targets. I focus on the one lined up with me. It is a perfect wooden square with a target. I spread my feet shoulders' width apart, wrapping both of my hands around the cool metal. I breathe in through my nose, and let the air out through my mouth, lips narrowed just a bit. I pull the trigger and the bullet pounds the bull's eye loudly.

The initiates follow my example, or at least try. I stand to the side wall, watching. The reverberations of the shot sends Tris's little frame all the way to the wall. It's kind of adorable, but I pull my eyes away, pushing the though away as well. The other initiates are standing their ground but only a few seem to actually be getting it. I hear Will talking to Tris. She takes another shot. He says something. She smiles at him. I feel a twinge in my stomach. I pull my eyes away again. I tell myself I'm hungry. Sure, that's it. I let them shoot more, and most of them are making real progress, so I let them go for lunch, but this time I sit pretty far from the initiates.

After I gather my group, I take them to what I have personally nicknamed "The Blood Room," where they will learn to fight. It has a large wooden floor with a circle painted in the center, paint cracking and a few red traces on the floor from recent fights.

"As I said this morning," I say, "next you will learn how to fight. The purpose of this is to prepare you to act; to prepare your body to respond to threats and challenges- which you will need, if you intend to survive life as a Dauntless. We will go over technique today, and tomorrow you will start to fight each other. So I recommend that you pay attention. Those who don't learn fast will get hurt." I look at Tris briefly. I'm scared she will get hurt anyways. I turn toward them, showing them some basic punches, and then I show them on the punching bag. I set them free to practice on their own, weaving in and out of the initiates, correcting a few of them. I stop in front of Tris, skimming her little frame with my eyes, reminding myself I am her instructor.

"You don't have much muscle," I say, trying not to make it sound too bad, "which means you're better off using your knees and elbows. You can put more power behind them."

I move my hand to her stomach and a little pulse runs through me. I hope she doesn't feel like I'm trying to make her feel small, but I can't help but notice my entire hand can cover her body from the bottom rib on one side to the other.

"Never forget to keep tension here," I say quietly. I keep my hand on her a little longer than I probably should then walk away without really making eye contact."

I let them practice for a little while longer then tell them to go to dinner.

**Hey please be reviewin' and I'll keep updatin' :)**


	4. Chapter 4

**4**

"Since there are an odd number of you, one of you won't be fighting today," I say to the initiates, as I step back from the board in the training room. I look at Tris- she does not have a partner.

There was no point in stalling anymore. I call up the first pair. Will and Al step into the arena. They pull their arms up in a defensive pose. I can only hear murmurs of conversations while I watch the two moving around the ring.

Al punches Will in the jaw. I glance at Tris. She winces, and it turns my stomach into a knot to think it might happen to her. Eric, however, gives a little hug of enjoyment, turning one of his ugly eyebrow rings in a slow, careful loop.

Will stumbles. Al punches. Will kicks. Al falls. Both rise…both look at me. I look back, my crossed arms tense. There's nothing I can do.

"Do you think this is a leisure activity? Should we break for nap-time? Fight each other!" Eric rages beside me.

"But…" Al says, hands dropping to his sides. "Is it scored or something? When does the fight end?" I think he might already know the answer, and I feel the group collectively coming to the right conclusion.

"It ends when one of you is unable to continue," says Eric.

"According to Dauntless rules," I say, "one of you could also concede." Eric gives me a pointed look, almost as if he's disgusted by my suggestion.

"According to the _old _rules," he says. "In the _new_ rules, no one concedes." That is the stupidest thing I've ever heard. Sometimes you can back down in a brave way- that is something he will never understand.

Eric thinks he's Dauntless. But, he's just Reckless. A real Dauntless wouldn't think like that. "A brave man acknowledges the strength of others," I reply.

"A brave man never surrenders," he says. A fool never surrenders, but then again this is Eric talking.

We stare at each other, anger bubbling up in each of us- but for different reasons, and we momentarily forget the fight. I want to tell Eric the type of Dauntless he is- the weak kind. We both break gaze at the same time, our mental fight interrupted by Al.

"This is ridiculous," he says, head shaking. At first I think he means the animosity between me and Eric, but he continues in a different direction. "What's the point of beating him up? We're in the same faction!"

"Oh, you think it's going to be that easy?" Will retorts, and thankfully, relieving some of the awkward pressure that's built up in the air between us all. He flashes a wide smile. "Go on. Try to hit me slowpoke."

The two take up a defensive stance now- and I try to regain interest in the spar. I honestly have no clue who will win- strength against speed.

Al punches into the air Will was standing in- before he ducked. Al punches air again, Will ducks, whips around, and kicks Al in the back with a strong blow. Al stumbles and spins, arms reeling at his sides, and clumsy feet tripping over themselves, like he's a giant top. Al sprints to Will, wrapping large fingers around his elbow, and gives him a punch in the jaw.

Will is knocked out immediately.

I watch as every signal of Al's body language reflects shock. He drops to Will's side, trying to bring him back to the world. The initiates stare in astonishment, on the brink of complete awe.

I wait. Will should be fine- I think.

Al sits next to Will, tapping his face, until his eyes flutter open.

"Get him up," Eric orders, giving absolutely no time for Will's pale body to recover. I can tell by the slight edge in his voice that he actually enjoyed the sight.

One more thing to hate about him.

I walk to the chalkboard and draw a circle around Al's name. But Al didn't win, Not really. This type of thing leaves people like Al with guilt that clenches as their stomach until they are forgiven, and even then.

"Next up- Molly and Christina!" Eric bellows out. Al brings Will's arm up over his shoulders, but pretty much carries him out.

Molly and Christina. Another match I cannot predict. Molly, like Al, has strength, but isn't exactly fast. Christina is tall and pretty flexible- fast, and not a bad fighting mind either.

I see Al struggling with Will, so I cross over to the room and grab Will's sides. I don't really want to leave, but there's no chance Eric will offer any help.

I catch Tris's eye on the way out and she looks…frightened? Only for a moment though. Is it because of Will? Or Christina, one of her closest friends about to fight? About the initiates being defenseless against Eric without me? About her own fight? For any of the four, she does have reason to be scared. When I look back, I see she's stifled the expression within her- some true Dauntless strength showing within her.

We shuffle down the hallway out into the Pit and we hear the roar of the chasm. I can still feel Al's eyes watching us from the door until we turn the corner.

"You'll be fine, Will," I say to him, though he still looks a little jostled. I contacted a doctor to come and get him, but she hasn't arrived yet. I let Will slump to the floor against a wall, and I crouch next to him.

"Be honest, Four," he says, looking up at me with bright green specs in his eyes, "did I look like a wimp?"

I smile a little at him, "No, not really. Your beginning was strong, and of course, getting beat up is never something to be proud of, but no, you didn't look like a wimp."

He heaves a sigh of…relief? The kid just got knocked out.

"Why?" I ask, I'm usually not openly curious or friendly with the initiates, but the way he asked it set off a little bit of wonder in me.

Will looks me straight in the eyes. "Can you keep a secret?" he asks.

"Uh, sure," I reply, shifting my weight a little.

"Well, uh," he stumbles over his words a little. "I don't want to look like a wimp because I kind of, I mean, I do. I mean its just that- I uh, like Christina, and you know, I don't want to look like a wimp or something."

"Well," I say- I'm not good with this kind of stuff. I clear my throat. "I think you looked okay. And, I mean, I can see you guys together," I try to put some encouragement into my voice, and I clear my throat again.

"Really?" he asks. I guess it worked. Thanks," he smiles a little and looks at his feet.

I suppress my own smile as the doctor comes forward. I help Will to his feet, and his balance is much better now.

"Just a fight gone bad," I say. "Pretty brief knockout, probably a concussion and maybe put something on those bruises."

"Okay," the dark-eyed doctor replies to me, and puts a hand on Will to direct him away.

My thought quiet for a moment, and I hear a murmur in the direction of the chasm. I go towards the platform that overlooks the railing of the chasm. I hate heights, but this is the fastest way to see what's going on, so I swallow the fear and look down.

Christina is dangling over the chasm, covered in blood. Eric catches a glimpse of me and looks up. He gives me a quick, evil grin as if this is some joke, and then turns his attention back to Christina.

_What did she do?_

It's obvious Eric's ordered none of the other initiates clustered around him, to help her.

I see Tris leaning into her toes- just a Stiff-oriented reaction to help.

"Don't do it Tris," I murmur to myself- Eric would ruin her if she helped.

I hear voices again and then Al begins to pull Christina up over the railing, and Tris rushes in to help.

I turn and walk away.

Day two of fighting. Molly and Edward are circling the arena. Tris and Peter are next. I can't believe Eric put them together. But then again, I remember this is Eric- who doesn't know the meaning of mercy.

I watch Edward finish off Molly.

My stomach clenches as Tris and Peter walk to the center of the room, but I try to keep my facial expression placid. I usually think of Tris as having her own kind of strength. Partially physical, partially emotional, and something else. But now, she looks so vulnerable. Small and delicate compared to Peter. She looks jittery too.

Peter smiles at her. He must see it too. "You okay there, Stiff?" he asks. "You look like you're about to cry. I might go easy on you if you cry.  
She _does_ look like she might cry, or be sick or something.

She puts her arms up, but still looks unprotected.

I see her eyes land on me for a split second- my face is now contorted a little in frustration at Peter- arms crossed.

Peter takes a defensive stance. "Come on, Stiff," Peter taunts happily. "Just one little tear. Maybe some begging."

Tris won't beg- I know that much.

The taunting must have been a smack to the face, because she tries to kick his side. However, he catches her foot and pulls her forward. She hits the floor with a thud, but writhes herself free and jumps back up.

"Stop playing with her," Eric says crisply. "I don't have all day." I want to kick him He's such a blood thirsty idiot. Thirsty for the blood of a small Abnegation girl. Thirsty for her blood.

Peter takes the order, and punches her in the jaw. She makes her way to the edge of the arena somehow in a swirling, teetering motion. He kicks her in the stomach now, and her face goes pale as I hear all of the air in her lungs rush out in a huff. Peter grabs her hair in one fist, and punches her nose with the other.

She tries to hit his arms, but he just returns it with a punch to the ribs. I fight the urge to run out and stop the fight. This is the worst one I've seen.

She's on the floor, struggling, and hits Peter, but not enough to inflict real pain, only the kind of pain that stings then dissolves into your skin. He hits her in the ear, laughing quietly.

If I don't leave, I'm going to do something stupid. I can't watch her like this- I walk out- letting the door slam. I wish there was a way to stop this- but there's not.

I decide not to go back for the rest of the fights, so I go to a training room at the edge of the compound instead. It's not used anymore and there are pieces of dust settles on the tops of tables and cabinets. I found this place a few days after I had become a member. There are three punching bags and foggy, scratched mirrors on one wall. This room is deeper in the ground than most, so the room is dark and dank, with only a few blue lights lighting the room.

For the next few hours, I just wrap up my knuckles and practice on a punching bag. I lose myself in the fight against the inanimate object. I punch and kick until my muscles ache and my shirt is soaked with sweat and my hair is matted to my head.

The next morning, I meet the initiates at the train. I stand close enough so the zipping cars give enough wind to make my shirt lap against my side. I motion a few of the initiates the jump in before me. Most of them are still pretty clumsy at it, but they will get better, just as I did.

I pull myself in quickly, and watch as the others start to attempt their entrance. My eyes shift to the "Stiff" as they call her- or the beat up version of her.

This is going to hurt.

She takes it pretty good, and Al helps her in. He didn't do her a favor by doing so, though, because Peter sees how hurt she is.

"Feeling okay there?" Peter asks, making fun of her. "Or are you a little…_Stiff_?" he laughs, and his friends do too.

"We are all awed by your incredible wit," Will retorts.

"Yeah are you sure you don't belong with the Erudite, Peter?" Christina says, "I hear they don't object to sissies."

I'm glad Tris's friends are sticking up for her, but I know Peter's got more coming, so I decide to shut them up. "Am I going to have to listen to your bickering all the way to the fence?"

It works.

I turn to the car's door, and grab the handles. I lean out into the wind, and close my eyes. This time my shirt plasters against me and I take in deep breaths of fresh air while the initiates talk amongst themselves.

The train begins the slow down, but I don't let my body move. I let it become part of the train itself- stead, fast, strong, and I can almost feel the breaks in my arms- my feet causing the slowing wheels to turn.

"Follow me," I say over my shoulder. I lead them to the gate that is so big it is a couple people tall. Beyond the fence are the Amity farms.

"If you don't rank in the top five at the end of initiation, you will probably end up here, I inform them. "Once you are a fence guard, there is some potential for advancement, but not much. You may be able to go on patrols beyond Amity's farms, but-"

I am interrupted again. What is it with this group? This time, it's Will though.

"Patrols for what purpose?" he asks.

I shrug a shoulder. "I suppose you'll discover that if you find yourself among them. As I was saying. For the most part, those who guard the fence when they are young continue to guard the fence. If it comforts you, some of them insist that it isn't as bad as it seems."

"What rank were you?" Peter asks me.

I look Peter right in the eyes, "I was first."

"And you chose to do _this_?" Peter asks in shock. "Why didn't you get a government job?"

"I didn't want one," I say. I didn't want one for several reasons. I hope my tone explains that I won't be elaborating on my answer.

I take them to the gate then come to a halt. A few Dauntless pull open the doors for a truck filled with apples.

One of the Amity boys recognizes Tris. I don't overhear much of the conversation until he calls her Beatrice.

_"Beatrice_?" Molly says, laughing. "Is that your real name, Stiff?"

The Stiff retorts back quickly. "What did you _think_ Tris was short for?"

"Oh, I don't know… weakling?" Molly says back. "Oh wait, _that_ doesn't start with Tris. My mistake.

"There's no need to antagonize her," Tris's friend says. "I'm Robert, and you are?"

"Someone who doesn't care what your name is," Molly says, her tone turning straight out ugly. "Why don't you get back in your truck? We're not supposed to fraternize with other faction members."

Tris shoots her a look. "Why don't you get away from us?"

Molly gives her a grin. "Right. Wouldn't want to get between you and your boyfriend."

I feel a twinge in my back muscles. Why did that bother me? It shouldn't bother me. It _doesn't _bother me. Nope. I start talking to a guard near me, eyes lowered.

By the time I pull my eyes up from the ground, her friend is hopping into the truck, and he waves to her as the truck heads off.

The Dauntless close and lock the gate.

I step away from the fence I was leaning against, and step close to her. Maybe a little too close, she still has a very Stiff- like mindset. Personal space is kind of a thing with the Abnegation.

"I am worried that you have a knack for making unwise decisions," I say to her.

She folds her arms. "It was a two- minute conversation."

"I don't think a smaller time frame makes it feel any less unwise." I feel a slippery feeling in my stomach as I pull my hand up to her beat- up eye and touch it lightly. She pulls away, but I don't. My falls a little to the side and I sigh- she doesn't trust me to touch her, and she is in pain. "You know, if you could just learn to attack first, you might do better."

"Attack first?" she asks me. "How will that help?"

I really do think it would help, and the explanation is easy. "You're fast. If you can get a few good hits in before they know what's going on, you could win." I shrug, and take my hand from her face.

"I'm surprised you know that," she says back to me, but in a quiet voice, "since you left halfway through my one and only fight." So she did notice that.

"It wasn't something I wanted to watch," I say carefully. I can see she waits for an explanation, but this one isn't so easy.

I clear my throat a little nervously. "Looks like the next train is here. Time to go, Tris." I say this, and head back to the train with the other initiates, carefully pulling myself in, and leaning out into the wind once again.

**Hey thanks sooooo soo much for reading! I love reviews ehem ehem ;) thanks y'all!**


	5. Chapter 5

**5**

I walk down the halls of the Dauntless compound. Today the initiates fought again, but the real competition will begin tonight. I'm actually excited about this. I'm pretty tired, but I know the adrenaline will kick in soon.

Eric, a few other Dauntless, and I hold flashlights, and head to the initiates' dorm where they are probably already in bed. I remember when I was the one being woken up. At first I was pretty mad, sleeping was the only time when the bruises stopped throbbing. I had always refused painkillers for anything, because I was worried if I stopped feeling the pain, I wouldn't know if something was really wrong. I realize now that that is a very stupid thing to be afraid of, but everything was so new back then. Now getting ready to leave on a train in the middle of the night with sore muscles feels practically natural.

Eric smiles a little as he opens the door and we all storm into the room, flashlights illuminating the air.

"Everybody up!" Eric bellows out.

I turn and see her staring at me. Blue eyes glossy. Blond hair framing her face, and messy around the edges. I look back at her for a few seconds, and she looks a little shocked, staying in bed while the world whirls around her. She is pulled from my gaze by Eric.

"Did you go deaf, Stiff?" Eric snaps at her, and she gets out of bed.

"You have five minutes to get dressed and meet us by the tracks," says Eric now, addressing the group as a whole. "We're going on another field trip."

We leave the dorm and I hear the initiates scuffling to get ready. We make our way down to the train and when I look back I can see a few sleepy initiates stumbling towards us.

"Everyone grab a gun!" Eric yells once they all arrive. The initiates shove each other like school children to get guns and paintballs.

"Time estimate?" Eric asks me.

I look at my watch. It glows slightly in a green tint around against the black that surrounds me. The numbers glow up in blue.

"Any minute now. How long is it going to take you to memorize the train schedule?" I ask him.

"Why should I, when I have you to remind me of it?" Eric says back to me, and he shoves my shoulder. It's almost friendly. He must be excited.

The train comes on fast, and I jump on first. I turn back to the entrance, and see Tris running up beside me, waiting for her opportunity to get on.

I reach out a hand to help her. She grabs on and I pull her in easily. It doesn't take long for the others to join us. When they are all on, I address the crowd.

"We'll be dividing into two teams to play capture the flag. Each team will have an even mix of members, Dauntless-born initiates, and transfers. One team will get off first and find a place to hide their flag. Then the second team will get off and do the same." The car shifts a bit, so I grab the side of the door to steady myself. I decide to add, "This is a Dauntless tradition, so I suggest you take it seriously."

"What do we get if we win?" a boy in the crowd shouts.

"Sounds like the kind of question someone not from Dauntless would ask," I say. "You get to win, or course."

"Four and I will be your team captains," Eric says, looking to me. "Let's divide up transfers first, shall we?"

"You go first," I say to him.

Eric shrugs his shoulders while skimming the crowd of transfers. "Edward."

I do the same, but I already know who I want, "I want the Stiff." I hope something in her allows her to like this nickname a little, even though it is used to make fun of her, because it reminds her where she came from.

Most of them laugh a little, and she looks a little embarrassed, and a little proud, but I think I'm the only one who sees that.

"Got something to prove?" Eric asks. "Or are you just picking the weak ones so that if you lose, you'll have someone to blame it on?"

I shrug it off, but he doesn't know something: he doesn't know she isn't weak. I don't think she knows that either. "Something like that," is all I say. "Your turn," I add.

"Peter," Eric calls.

"Christina," I say in response.

"Molly."

"Will."

"Al."

"Drew."

"Last one left is Myra. So she's with me," Eric says. "Dauntless-born initiates next."

We continue to take turns picking. Once I'm finished, I look out at my team, satisfied. I picked all the fast ones, except for Edward, but Eric took him as his first pick, but that's okay- my team is made for speed. That's why I picked Tris- she's no wimp, and she can run. Eric's team satisfies him, but he chose strength over speed- and I know why he didn't end up in Erudite. This really isn't a smart move on his part.

I see Tris hiding a small smile. She got my plan.

Eric looks at me with a little, tight smile. "Your team can get off second," he says.

"Don't do me any favors," I say, smiling a bit. "You know I don't need them to win." Actually, I do, but I'm about to get what I want, again.

"No, I know that you'll lose no matter when you get off," Eric says back. "Take your scrawny team and get off first, then."

We wait a bit once we get standing, and jump off. The brief minute of free fall releases a little of the tension in my muscles.

I feel a stroke on my shoulder and turn to see a Dauntless-born initiate, Marlene, looking straight into my eyes, gaze unwavering.

"When your team won, where did you put the flag?" she asks innocently.

"Telling you wouldn't really be in the spirit of the exercise, Marlene," I say.

She slides her hand down to my upper arm, tensing her fingers a little.

"Come on, Four," she says, smiling, and batting her long eyelashes twice. I move her hand off and look away.

"Navy Pier," another Dauntless-born initiate, Uriah, says. "My brother was on the winning team. They kept the flag at the carousel."

"Let's go there, then," Will says.

By an unspoken agreement, everyone heads in that direction.

I look out at the land around me- Erudite buildings, marshland, tall grassy plains, Ferris wheel, all clothed in an opaque blanket of black. I zone out the conversations of everyone else and listen to the calming sounds around me: cricket chirps, the sound of my shoes against the earth, the whistle of the wind all around. We finally get to the carousel, which has been greatly weathered by time.

I pull the flag from my back pocket. "In ten minutes, the other team will pick their location," I say. "I suggest you take this time to formulate a strategy. We may not be Erudite, but mental preparedness is one aspect of your Dauntless training. Arguably, it is the most important aspect." I would actually enjoy helping them with their plans, but this is their game, and I want them to learn from this, for the victory to be their own.

Will holds out his hand, so I give him the flag.

"Some people should stay here and guard, and some people should go out and scout the other team's location," he says to the group.

"Yeah? You think?" Marlene asks, taking the flag. "Who put you in charge, transfer?"

"No one," Will replies. "But someone's got to do it."

"Maybe we should develop a more defensive strategy. Wait for them to come to us, then take them out," Christina says. I actually think that is a good idea, at least it has some theory behind it, but they must attack too. But, this is not my game, I remind myself. I want them to work this out, but someone has to step up and be a leader, not only vocally but through action.

Obviously Uriah does not agree with her. "That's the sissy way out," Uriah says. "I vote we go all out. Hide the flag well enough that they can't find it."

They begin to argue amongst themselves, but I'm sure they'll get bored of fighting and figure it out, or, on the other hand maybe they never will and the other team will find us standing here, half of them yelling, Marlene holding the flag right in her hand. I sit down on the floor of the carousel and lean back on a blue horse. I look up to the starless night, but my eyes still search for my favorite constellation- Orion. I can't remember when I saw him last, or what time of year he would appear if the stars ever would shine again, but I've always remembered him as being a brave warrior and hunter. I pull my hand to the back of my neck, and allow the tension in my body to relax, even though I clutch the gun against me.

I glance over to Tris, who is looking around like she almost doesn't want to be seen. Then she looks at the Ferris wheel. And when she walks over to the Ferris wheel, I think I've figured out what she's going to do.

She's crazy.

She's climbing.

I'm crazy.

Because I find myself _following _her.

"Tris," I say, moving my gun to my back.

She looks behind her, "Yes?"

"I came to find out what you think you're doing."

"I'm seeking higher ground," she says. "I don't _think_ I'm doing anything.  
I'm happy to find that she's becoming sure of herself, and a smile spreads across my face.

"All right. I'm coming."

What am I thinking?

She looks at me carefully, like she's lost in thought for a second. I think too- I'm scared of heights. I don't really want to tell her, but I think she'll be able to figure it out soon. But I'm still going. I guess I want to make sure she's safe. I mean, I am her instructor. But then again, I think she will be.

"I'll be fine," she says, reading my mind.

"Undoubtedly," I say. But I'm still coming.

I wait her to move up a little, and I start up after her. I start at a good pace, but have to slow up a little so I don't grab her feet. Fine by me.

Don't look down.

Too late. My breaths begin to pick up speed. I try to push away my fear, and help her- she's the one still in initiation.

"So tell me…" I begin, then suck in a few breaths hastily. "What do you think the purpose of this exercise is? The game, I mean, not the climbing."

She looks down…_how_? Then back up. I see her sway a little from the wind, like a leaf of a tree.

"Learning about strategy," she says. "Teamwork, maybe."

"Teamwork," I say, and unfortunately, a high, scratchy laugh escapes my lips. Smooth.

"Maybe not," she says in that same, even tone. "Teamwork doesn't seem to be a Dauntless priority."

"It's supposed to be a priority. It used to be." I say. I wish it still was. That was the Dauntless I wanted to be.

I see her lean into the ladder, shaking. But, she doesn't seem to be afraid of heights…

I try to keep my breaths steady, but I'm desperately failing. "Now tell me…" I let out a breath, not in a steady release, but as if I don't let it out in a burst I might explode, "what do you think learning strategy has to do with… bravery?" I think I've started wheezing, but my brain is so fuzzy, I'm not sure.

"It…it prepares you to act," she says after a moment. "You learn strategy so you can use it." She climbs up a few more rungs… almost _comfortably_. "Are you all right, Four?"

My response comes out quicker than my brain really finishes forming the thought. "Are you _human_, Tris? Being up this high…" my lungs scream for air. "It doesn't scare you at all?"

She looks towards the ground, but I don't see fear, until wind pushes her small frame too far to the side.

Instinctively, before I really know what I'm doing, I reach up and my hand grabs her, fingers curling around her hip. I feel a tingle of my skin against hers because the wind has lifted her shirt a few inches. I clench my fingers a little, my cold fingers soaking up some of the heat radiating from her body. I push her back to her original position.

My fear momentarily forgotten, I try to make my tone soothing to her. "You okay?"

"Yes," she says, but her voice is tight around the word. We continue on up without conversation until we reach a little platform at the center of the wheel. No rails.

She gets on first and sits, moving so I can sit too, dangling her legs over the side. I don't sit, exactly. I squat down, pushing my back into the metal, but I don't even feel like that is stable, my breaths are so fast.

"You're afraid of heights," she says. Yeah, there was no way I could hide this fear. "How do you survive in the Dauntless compound?"  
I ignore my fear," I say. "When I make decisions, I pretend it doesn't exist." I'm telling her the truth, it's just a whole lot harder to ignore my fear up here.

She looks at me… and looks at me, as if searching my face for some answer.

"What?" I ask a little shyly.

"Nothing." She looks out now, for the reason we came up here. But, the view's blocked by a tall building.

"We're not high enough," she says, looking up. "I'm going to climb," she says, moving to a standing position.

"For Goodness' sake, Stiff," I say, almost complaining.

"You don't have to follow me," she says back, already beginning to ascend even more. She sways a little again, and I've made up my mind.

"Yes I do."

We climb in silence for a bit. I wish I could enjoy the view, but my point of view of the scene is a whole different idea of breathtaking, so I pull my eyes from the horizon and focus on Tris's shoes just above me. We climb even higher.

She stops climbing and looks out, and I climb up so my body is behind hers, blocking her from the strong winds.

"See that?" she asks, pointing at something. I move my head a little closer to hers, so I am elevated only a few inches higher than her.

"Yeah," I say, and feel a smile creep up on my face. "It's coming from the park at the end of the pier," I say. "Figures. It's surrounded by open space, but the trees provide some camouflage. Obviously not enough."

"Okay." She says, and turns back to me, but doesn't greet my eyes. "Um," she says, clearing her throat. "Start climbing down. I'll follow you."

I give a nod although my head is spinning. I rely on my arms and legs to know what to do. Thank goodness they do, even though I beginning to shake uncontrollably.

I hear a clang above me, and my head jerks back to look at Tris. She's dangling from a bar, and she's not tall enough to reach the next bar.

"Four!" she screeches.

"Hold on!" I yell up to her. "Just hold on, I have an idea." Boy, I hope this works.

I climb down as fast as I can, forgetting about my own safety. I'm almost to the bottom. This might work. It has to. _Hold on Tris, please hold on,_ I beg in my mind.

"Four!" I hear her again, and my feet touch earth. I look at gears and buttons and levers and move them frantically, trying to make sense of them in my mind. This wheel creaks, and I let my breath out once I realize I'm holding it, and she starts down on the circuitous path.

I hear her laughing, but she must know if she doesn't let go at the perfect moment, she will die.

I hold my breath again. I haven't felt this helpless in a long time.

I watch her, eyes wide, and she falls into the cement and rolls…just in time to escape. Her hand cover her face, and she doesn't move.

A little dazed myself, I walk over to her, trying to steady my swaying footsteps. I put my hands around her wrists, and my fingers wrap all the way around them, and then some. I grab one of her hands, folding it in both of mine. Her fingers are freezing, and I try to pass warmth back to her, like she passed warmth to me when I caught her in the wind.

"You all right?" I ask her.

"Yeah."

I can't help myself from laughing, I took a huge risk, but I couldn't have helped her any other way. She never would have reached another bar.

She joins in my laughing, and sits up.

She's so close, but I don't dare move in closer. I stand up, easily bringing her up with me.

"You could have told me that the Ferris wheel still worked," she says, matter-of-factly. "We wouldn't have had to climb in the first place."

"I would have, if I had known," I say- and believe me, I would have. "Couldn't just let you hang there, so I took a risk. Come on, time to get their flag."

I begin to reach for her, pause, but continue- why not? I wrap my fingers around her arm, and flash her a quick smile, and take off running. I have to slow up a bit for her, but not long.

We get back to the carousel, and by now my body is pulsing with adrenaline.

"Where'd the others go?" I ask.

"Did you guys turn on the wheel?"one of the Dauntless, Annie, asks. "What the heck are you thinking? You might as well have just shouted 'Here we are! Come and get us!" Her head shakes, and her short brown curls dance around her face. "If I lose again this year, the shame will be unbearable. Three years in a row?"

"The wheel doesn't matter," I say, skipping the explanation for why its active. "We know where they are."

"We?" Christina asks.

"Yes, while the rest of you were twiddling you thumbs, Tris climbed the Ferris wheel to look for the other team," I say, letting a little of my admiration reflect in my voice.

"What do we do now, then?" asks one of the guys on our team, Alex, yawning.

I look down at Tris, because I want her to make the plan. She could definitely be the reason we win.

"Split in half," she says. "Four of us go to the right side of the pier, three to the left. The other team is in the park at the end of the pier, so the group of four will charge as the group of three sneaks behind the other team to get the flag."

"Sounds good," Annie says, clapping at the air once. "Let's get this night over with, shall we?"

Chistina and Uriah join Tris and they take off, and I take the others with me to charge.

We creep through the area, running fast through the lighted areas, and tiptoeing carefully through the shadows. I point to the other team, and we all give a loud yell, and begin shooting. The other team charges toward us. I feel a pang in my shoulder, and see blue leaking across my shirt, but we keep the enemy distracted.

Over one of their shoulders, I see a flash of blond and smile. They are about to get the flag. Soon, I hear yells from our team, and Christina holds the flag high, and a crowd surrounds her.

Tris stands to the side, a wide smile on her face.

I put a hand on her shoulder. "Well done," I say, and again she sends warmth into my hand.

We hop on the train to get home, and I barely listen to the chatter and clamor of the people behind me. I lookout the train door, my shirt flapping against the wind again, and breathe in the fresh air and smile. This is the best day I've had in a long time- and I'm actually excited to continue to help the initiates train.

**Heyyyy! I really hope you're liking this so far! Please review and tell me what you think!**


	6. Chapter 6

**Okay please understand this people. I did NOT write this chapter. This chapter is Veronica Roth's Free Four. All the credit goes to her this is 100% her work- not mine. I just updated it here for your convenience if you have not yet read this! Enjoy!**

**6**

**_Chapter 6 is from Free Four: Tobias Tells the Story by Veronica Roth_**

I wouldn't have volunteered to train the initiates if not for the smell of the training room- the scent of dust and sweat and sharpened metal. This was the first place I ever felt strong. Every time I breathe this air I feel it again.

At the end of the room is a slab of wood with a target painted on it. Against one wall is a table covered with throwing knives- ugly metal instruments with a hole at one end, perfect for inexperienced initiates. Line up across from me are the faction transfers, who still bear, in one way or another, the mars of their old factions: the straight-backed Candor, the steady-eyed Erudite, and the Stiff, leaning into her toes so she's ready to move.

"Tomorrow will be the last day of stage one," Eric says.

He doesn't look at me. I hurt his pride yesterday, and not just during capture the flag- Max pulled me aside at breakfast to ask how the initiates were doing, as if Eric was not the one in charge. Eric was sitting at the table next to mine at the time, scowling into his bran muffin.

"You will resume fighting then," Eric continues. "Today you'll be learning how to aim. Everyone pick up three knives, and pay attention while Four demonstrates the correct technique for throwing them." His eyes fall somewhere north of mine, like he is standing above me. I straighten up. I hate when he treats me like his lackey, like I didn't knock out one of his teeth during our own initiation.

"Now!"

They scramble for knives like factionless kids over a spare piece of bread, too desperate. All except her, with her deliberate movements, her blond head slipping between the shoulders of taller initiates. She doesn't try to look comfortable with the blades balancing on her palms, and that is what I like about her, that she knows these weapons are unnatural yet she finds a way to wield them.

Eric walks toward me, and I back away by instinct. I try not to be afraid of him, but I know how smart he is and that if I'm not careful he'll notice that I keep staring at her, and that will be my undoing. I turn toward the target, a knife in my right hand.

I requested that the knife-throwing be taken from the training curriculum this year, because it serves no actual purpose other than fueling the Dauntless bravado. No one here will ever use it except to impress someone, the way I will impress them now. Eric would say that dazzling people can be useful, which is why he denied my request, but it's everything I hate about Dauntless.

I hold the knife by its blade so the balance is right. My initiation instructor, Amar, saw that I had a busy mind, so he taught me to tie my movements to my breaths. I inhale, stare at the target's center. I exhale, and throw. The knife hits the target. I hear a few of the initiates draw breath at the same time.

I find a rhythm in it: inhale and pass the next knife to my right hand, exhale and turn it with my fingertips, inhale and watch the target, exhale and throw. Everything goes dark around the center of that board. The other factions call us brutish, as if we don't use our minds, but that is all I do here.

Eric's voice breaks my daze. "Line up!"

I leave the knives in the board to remind the initiates of what is possible, and stand against the side wall. Amar was also the one who gave me my name, back in the days when the first thing initiates did upon arriving in the Dauntless compound was go through our fear landscapes. He was the sort of person who made a nickname stick, so likable that everyone imitated him.

He's dead now, but sometimes, in this room, I can still hear him scolding me for holding my breath.

_She_ doesn't hold her breath. That's good- one less bad habit to break. But she has a clumsy arm, awkward as a chicken leg.

Knives are flying but, most of the time, not spinning. Even Edward hasn't figured it out, though he's usually the quickest, his eyes alive with that Erudite knowledge- craving.

"I think the Stiff's taken too many hits to the head!" Peter says. "Hey, Stiff! Remember what a _knife_ is?"

I don't usually hate people, but I hate Peter. I hate that he tries to shrink people, the same way Eric does.

Tris doesn't answer, just picks up a knife and throws, still with that awkward arm, but it works- I hear metal slam against board, and I smile.

"Hey, Peter," Tris says. "Remember what a _target_ is?"

I watch each of them, trying not to catch Eric's eye as he paces like a caged animal behind them. I have to admit that Christina is good- though I don't like giving credit to Candor smart- mouths- and so is Peter- though I don't like giving credit to future psychopaths. Al, however, is just a walking, talking sledgehammer, all power and no finesse.

It's a shame Eric also notices.

"How slow _are_ you, Candor? Do you need glasses? Should I move the target closer to you?" he says, his voice strained.

Al the Sledgehammer has unexpectedly soft insides. The taunting pierces them. When he throws again, the knife sails into a wall.

"What was that, initiate?" Eric says.

"It- it slipped."

"Well, I think you should go get it."

The initiates stop throwing.

"Did I tell you to stop?" Eric says, his pierced eyebrows raised.

This is not good.

"God get it?" says Al. "But everyone's still throwing/"

"And?"

"And I don't want to get hit."

"I think you can trust your fellow initiates to aim better than you. Go get your knife."

"No."

_The Sledgehammer strikes again_, I think. The response is stubborn but there is no strategy in it. Still, it takes more bravery for Al to say no than for Eric to force him to get a knife to the back of the head, which is something Eric will never understand.

"Why not? Are you afraid?"

"Of getting stabbed by an airborne knife?" says Al. "Yes, I am!"

My body gets heavy as Eric raises his voice. "Everyone stop!"

The first time I met Eric he wore blue and his hair was parted down the side. He was trembling as he approached Amar to receive the injection of fear- landscape serum into his neck. During his fear landscape, he never moved an inch; he just stood still, screaming into clenched teeth, and somehow maneuvered his heartbeat down to an acceptable level using his breath. I didn't know it was possible to conquer fear in your body before you did it in your mind. That was when I knew I should be wary of him.

"Clear out of the ring," Eric says. Then, to Al: "All except you. Stand in front of the target."

Al, gulping, lumbers over to the target. I pull away from the wall. I know what Eric will do. And it will probably end with a lost eye or a pierced throat; with horror, as every fight I've witnessed has, each one driving me further and further from the faction I chose as a haven.

Without looking at me, Eric says, "Hey, Four. Give me a hand here, huh?"  
Part of me feels relief. At least I know that if I am throwing the knives instead of Eric, Al is less likely to get injured. But I also can't be this cruel, and I can't be the one who does Eric's dirty work.

I try to act casual, scratching my eyebrow with a knife point, but I don't feel casual. I feel like someone is pressing me into a mold that does not fit my body, forcing me into the wrong shape.

Eric says, "You're going to stand there as he throws those knives until you learn not to flinch."

My chest feels tight. I want to save Al, but the more I defy Eric, the more determined he will be to put me in my place. I decide to pretend that I am bored by the whole thing.

"Is this really necessary?"

"I have the authority here, remember?" Eric says. "Here, and everywhere else."

I can feel blood creeping into my face as I stare at him, and he stares back. Max asked me to be a faction leader and I should have said yes; I would have, if I had known that I would prevent things like this, things like dangling initiates over the chasm and forcing them to beat each other senseless.

I realize that I have been squeezing the knives so tightly that the handles have left impressions on my palms. I have to do what Eric says. My only other choice is leaving the room, and if I leave, Eric will throw the knives himself, which I can't allow. I turn toward Al.

And then she says- I know it's her because her voice is low, for a girl's, and careful- "Stop it."

I don't want Eric to turn on her instead. I glare at her as if that will make her think twice. I know it won't. I'm not stupid.

"Any idiot can stand in front of a target," Tris says. "It doesn't prove anything except that you're bullying him. Which, as I recall, is a sign of cowardice."

Dauntless brutes- bullies, Lower Level children- that is what we are, beneath the tattoos and the piercings and the dark clothing.

_Maybe I _am _stupid. _I have to stop thinking of her this way.

"Then it should be easy for you," Eric says, pushing his hair back so it curls around his ear. "If you're willing to take his place."

And then his eyes shift to mine, just for a second. It's like he knows, he _knows_ I have a thing for her, so he's going to force me to throw knives at her. For an instant- no, longer than an instant- I think of throwing a knife at him instead. I could hit him in the arm, or the leg, no harm done….

"There goes your pretty face," Peter says, across the room. "Oh, wait. You don't have one."

I barely register the comment. I am too busy watching her.

She stands with her back to the board. The top of her head skims the bottom of the target center. She tips her chin up and looks at me with that Abnegation stubbornness I know so well. She may have left them, but they are what's making her strong.

I can't tell her it will be okay, not with Eric here, but I can try to make her strong.

"If you flinch, Al takes your place. Understand?" I say.

Eric stands a little too close, tapping his foot on the floor. I have to get this right. I can't throw the knife to the edge of the board, because he knows I can hit the center. But a clumsy throw, an inch in either direction, and I could hurt her. _There goes your pretty face._

But Peter's right, she's not _pretty_, that word is too small. She is not like the girls I used to stare at, all bend and curve and softness. She is small but strong, and her bright eyes demand attention. Looking at her is like waking up.

I throw the knife, keeping my eyes on hers. It sticks in the board near her cheek. My hands shake with relief. Her eyes close, so I know I need to remind her again of her selflessness.

"You about done, Stiff?" I say.

_Stiff. That's why you're strong, get it?_

She looks angry. "No."

_Why on earth _would _she get it? She can't read minds, for Goodness' sake._

"Eyes open, then," I say, tapping the skin between my eyebrows. I don't really need her eyes to be on mine, but I feel better when they are. I breathe the dust- sweat- metal smell and pass a knife from my left hand to my right. Eric inches closer.

My view of the room narrows around the part in her hair, and I throw with my exhale.

I hear Eric behind me. "Hmm" is all he says.

"Come on, Stiff," I say. "Let someone else stand there and take it."

"Shut _up_, Four!" she says, and I want to yell back that I'm as frustrated as she is, with an Erudite vulture analyzing my every move, searching for my weak points so he can hit them as hard as he can.

I hear the "hmm" again and I'm not sure if it's Eric or my imagination, but I know I have to convince him that she's just another initiate to me, and I have to do it now. I breathe deep, and make a quick decision, staring at the tip of her ear, the quick- healing cartilage.

The fear does not exist. My beating hear, tight chest, and sweating palms do not exist.

I throw the knife and look away when she winces, too relieved to feel bad for hurting her. I did it.

"I would love to stay and see if the rest of you are as daring as she is, but I think that's enough for today," says Eric. To me, he mutters, "Well. That should scare them, huh."

I think- I hope- that means he's not suspicious of me anymore.

He touches her shoulder, and gives her a metal-framed smile. "I should keep my eye on you."

I watch blood trickle down her ear and onto her neck and feel sick.

The room empties, the door closes, and I wait until the footsteps disappear before starting toward her.

"Is your- " I start to reach for the side of her head.

She glares. "You did that on _purpose_!"

"Yes, I did," I say. "And you should be thanking me for helping you-" I want to explain about Eric and how badly he wants to hurt me and everyone I even remotely care for, or about how I know where her strength comes from and wanted to remind her, but she doesn't give me a chance.

_"Thank _you? You almost stabbed my ear, and you spend the entire time taunting me. Why should I thank you?"

_Taunting? _I scowl at her.

"You know, I'm getting a little tired of waiting for you to catch on!" I say.

"Catch on? Catch on to what? That you wanted to prove to Eric how tough you are? That you're sadistic, just like he is?"

The accusation makes me feel cold. She thinks I'm like Eric? She thinks I want to _impress_ him?

"I am not sadistic." I lean closer to her and suddenly I feel nervous, like something is prickling in my chest. "If I wanted to hurt you, don't you think I would have already?"  
She's close enough to touch, but if she thinks I'm like Eric, that will never happen.

Of course she thinks I'm like Eric. I just threw knives at her head. I screwed it all up. Permanently.

I have to get out. I cross the room and, at the last second before I slam the door, shove the point of my knife into the table.

I hear her frustrated scream from around the corner, and I stop, sinking into a crouch with my back to the wall. Before she got here everything had stalled inside me, and every morning I was just moving toward nighttime. I'd thought about leaving- I'd _decided_ to leave, to be factionless, after this class of initiates was done. But then she was here and she was just like me, putting aside her gray clothes but not really putting them aside, never really putting them aside because she knows the secret, that they are the strongest armor we can wear.

And now she hates me and I can't even leave Dauntless to join the factionless, like I was going to, because Eric's eye is on her like it was on Amar last year, right before he turned up dead on the pavement near the railroad tracks. All the Divergent end up dead except me, because my fluke aptitude test result, and if Eric is watching her, she's probably one, too.

My thoughts skip back to the night before, how touching her sent warmth into my hand and through the rest of me, though I was frozen with fear. I press my hands to my head, press the memory away.

I can't leave now. I like her too much. There, I said it. But I won't say it again.


	7. Chapter 7

**7**

I don't turn away from the board as the initiates file into the room. I scrawl the names across the board finishing with Tris facing Molly.

Will and Myra are first, and begin to spar. I spent half the night punching at that same punching bag, and a yawn escapes me. Some of the frustration of yesterday is still lingering in me, but mostly it's been taken up by exhaustion.

Al easily falls to Christina

Edward beats Peter.

Time for Tris and Molly.

She walks to the middle, eyes fixed on a single point and Molly approaches her, smirking.

"Was the a birthmark I saw on your left butt cheek?" she asks. "Gosh, you're pale, Stiff."

_What?_

Whatever it is, Tris doesn't respond, and Molly throws a punch. Tris ducks, and punches Molly, and dodges another lunge. Molly frowns, realizing Tris isn't going down so easy.

Tris looks angry and intense. What's feuling her? I figure its something to do with what Molly just said. She blocks a punch from Molly, who moans in frustration, and tries to kick. Tris seizes the moment to get her in the face, but Molly shifts just in time. Molly hits Tris in the side, and she stumbles back.

They stare down for a moment.

Tris punches her in the stomach, kicks her legs out from under her, kicks her in the ribs. Molly's curled up now, but Tris continues in her attack- a kick to the stomach, a kick to the face, a kick to the chest. This isn't Tris- she's not brutal- what happened?

Tris gets ready to kick again at the bloodied version of Molly lying on the floor, but I decide it's enough.

I rush forward and my fingers wrap around her upper arms and I carry her off. She doesn't even look up, her eyes are still trained on Molly, something almost vicious in her look.

"You won," I say quietly. "Stop." I look at her now, my eyes searching her for some kind of answer. I know she has the ability to be a great fighter, but she is not ruthless.

"I think you should leave," I say. "Take a walk." That's what I always do, or practice on a punching bag.

"I'm fine," she says. "I'm fine now," this time more securely. So there was something wrong, for sure.

I know one thing- she's not fine.

**Hey! Thanks so much to all of you who are still reading this! Please review! :) pretty please!**


	8. Chapter 8

**8**

It's Visiting Day for the initiates, so I'm working on a few things in the control room before I head down into the Pit. My eyes skim several monitors, then rows and rows of buttons and controls. My fingers flit across them fixing data, inputting new information.

I hear footsteps behind me.

"So, Tris, huh?" Eric asks.

My body clenches in every muscle. How did he _know?_

"You really think she's got it in her to be Dauntless. I mean, her fight was impressive, but she doesn't really look the part." Nothing in his tone seems to suggest he knows I like her, and I allow my body to relax… a little.

"I think she's been doing well," I say, trying to drain all the emotions from my voice and make it sound flat.

"I guess," he says, thoughtfully. "Well, just keep an eye on her, there's something… off about her."

"Sure," I say.

Eric pauses a moment, then finally leaves the room. This is one thing he told me to do that I won't mind. But I already have been keeping an eye on her, and yes- there is definitely something different- something special- about her.

I type a few more codes and head down to the Pit. Instead of the usual flow of black clothes, it looks tye-dye, like a faction explosion.

I walk toward the chasm and stand with my forearms resting on the railing. I hear something and look over my shoulder. I see Tris standing with a woman, who I'd assume is her mother. They share some common features, but they look so different by their faction clothes.

The woman extends her hand.

"Hello. My name is Natalie," the woman says. "I'm Beatrice's mother."

I'm not used to shaking peoples' hands, but I try to fit my hand to hers, and I try not to squeeze too hard, but not too light. Her hand is small, like Tris's, and I shake it twice.

"Four," I say. "It's nice to meet you." I try to make my voice pleasant.

She smiled up at me. "Four," she says. "Is that a nickname?"  
"Yes." I say, but skip out on the explanation. "Your daughter is doing well here. I've been overseeing her training." Tris raises her eyebrows a bit, but I try not to look at her too long, and shift by gaze back to her mother.

"That's good to hear," she says. "I know a few things about Dauntless initiation, and I was worried about her."

I use this time to scan her face before saying, "You shouldn't worry." And she shouldn't. Tris will be fine. Her cheeks blush a bit, maybe I'm imagining it.

Mrs. Prior's head flops to the side. "You look familiar for some reason, Four."

A warning siren goes off in my head. "I can't imagine why," I say quickly, hoping my tone didn't come out too harsh, but I hope she got the message the topic is closed. I don't want to talk about this. "I don't make a habit of associating with the Abnegation."

To my relief, Mrs. Prior laughs. "Few people do, these days. I don't take it personally."

I soften my tone now. "Well, I'll leave you to your reunion."

I go for a walk for a while, and end up near the area where the families are trickling out of the compound to return to their homes.

I feel a small, tender hand on my shoulder, but it guides me back and sideways firmly, into a dark hallway.

It's Tris's mother.

Her eyes have shadows cast over them by the lack of light, but I can tell her look is very serious. "Be very honest with me, Four. Is my daughter honestly doing well?"

I'm glad I can reassure her. "Tris really is doing well. She's stronger than she things, and she's…" I clear my throat. "She's smart and careful, but that's a good thing, and…"

Her posture relaxes and a smile spreads across her face. Okay…

"You like her?" she asks. How did she do that?

It must be a mom thing.

I feel a smile tugging at the corners of my mouth.

"Promise me that you'll keep her safe," she says, putting a hand on my shoulder.

"I promise," I say. And mean it.

"Thank you," she says barely above a whisper. She flashes me a grateful smile then joins a small flood exiting the building. "She thinks you're handsome- _Tobias_," she tosses the words over my shoulder, and I find my smile broadening a bit more, even though she did recognize me.

I eat dinner early, so I can go to the transfer dorms without them all there. I walk in and my eyes shift to my bunk by some habit. I notice Tris's stuff is sprawled across my old space.

I grab the chalkboard and pull a crumpled piece of green paper from my pocket, and carefully copy the rankings onto the chalkboard.

I finish writing just as the initiates walk in.

"How were we ranked?" one of them asks me.

"Well," I say, "the first time we ranked you was on your fight and…" more initiates flood in. It's easier just to start over at this point.

"For those of you who just came in, I'm explaining how the ranks are determined," I say. "After the first round of fights, we ranked you according to your skill level. The number of points you ear depends on your skill level and the skill level of the person you beat. You earn more points for improving and more points for beating someone of a high skill level. I don't reward preying on the weak. That is cowardice."

I don't think of Tris as weak, but I still glance at Peter. "If you have a high rank, you lose points for losing to a low- ranked opponent.

Molly lets out… I guess it was a snort-growl…I don't know.

"Stage two of training is weighted more heavily than stage one, because it is more closely tied to overcoming cowardice," I continue. "That said, it is extremely difficult to rank high at the end of initiation if you rank low in stage one."

I see Tris shifting nervously, and she looks at me, then glances away.

"We will announce the cuts tomorrow," I add. "The fact that you are transfers and the Dauntless-born initiates are not will not be taken into consideration. Four of you could be factionless and none of them. Of four of them could be factionless and none of you. Or any combination thereof. That said, here are your ranks.

I return the chalkboard to its place of the wall.

1. Edward

2. Peter

3. Will

4. Christina

5. Molly

6. Tris

7. Drew

8. Al.

9. Myra

Tension rises in the air.

"What?" Molly shouts. She points to Christina, finger wavering in midair. "I beat her! I beat her in _minutes, _and she's ranked _above_ me?"

"Yeah," Christina says, smiling. "And?"

"If you intend to secure yourself a high rank, I suggest you don't make a habit of losing to low-ranked opponents, I say, a little amused at Molly's anger, but my words shut up the initiates. I drop the chalk in my pocket, and walk past them all- eyes trained forward.

I hear Molly exploding behind me, but I can't tell what she's saying. I walk back to my apartment and stare at the ceiling until I fall asleep. I already promised myself to keep Tris safe. And now I've promised her mother, too.

The next morning when I wake up and walk out, Eric is waiting for me.

"Edward and Myra dropped out."

My face must show the shock I feel.

"Edward stabbed in the eye," he says- I think I know by who, "and Myra's just a lovesick puppy who followed him." She would have been cut anyway. "I've already let Adden and Leena go- they are factionless now." I didn't really know them well.

Eric searches my face like he wants to say something, and takes a deep breath, like he will. But he just presses his lips into a line, turns, and walks off.

That means I have no work today, I guess.

I decide to go through my fear landscape. Still the same fears, as always. But every time, it just seems to feel worse and worse. I got invited to go ziplining- no way. My landscape wasn't much better, though.

**Hey again! I'm adding chapters like a madwoman I tell you! I hope you enjoy!**


	9. Chapter 9

**9**

I stand in a hallway, back to a door. The initiates are sitting on either side, backs to the walls, and they peer up at me.

"You will not be separated as you were in stage one," I say. "I will call each of you one by one," and I turn and enter the room where they will under go their first simulation.

I get the equipment ready, and open the door again. "Lynn." I inject her with the serum and she heads into her simulation, and I watch her.

I do the same thing for every initiate. It becomes a tedious and painful task, watching each one calm themselves from a terrifying situation. But, I remind myself, I volunteered to do this. I've already found out that Uriah is Divergent, so I had to manually undo his recordings. If Eric had done the tests, he would have known. I don't know why it would be a bad thing, but Eric would definitely put Uriah in danger. Tris is next, and for some reason, I think she might be Divergent too, but it's just a hunch.

I open the door. "Come on, Tris." She gets up slowly, but is fast enough to dodge Drew's leg, dodging a stumble.

I rest my fingers on her shoulder and I let her into the room first, then shut the door quietly. She stops short, and I almost knock her over. She must remember what the is. Her test must not have gone as planned.

"Sit," I say. I wrap my fingers around her upper arms, and nudge her towards the chair.

"What's the simulation?" she asks me. Her voice is scared and her eyes are wide.

"Ever hear the phrase 'face your fears'?" I ask her. "We're taking that literally. The simulation will teach you to control your emotions in the midst of a frightening situation."

She pulls a hand to her forehead, shaking a little, but she walks to the chair without my help. However, I stay close to her because I honestly think she could faint. She sits down gracefully for someone in hear, but I can see that every muscle in her body is tensed.

"Do you ever administer the aptitude tests?" she asks. I guess she's trying to distract herself from the situation at hand.

"No," I say. "I avoid Stiffs as much as possible."

"Why?"

I don't like questions. "Do you ask me that because you think I'll actually answer?"

"Why do you say vague things if you don't want to be asked about them?" good point. Maybe its because I do want to tell someone, to let someone really know me. I just don't know who or how to tell them yet. I push the thought from my mind.

I try to be gentle as I push her hair off of her neck. It is soft and wavy, like silk running through my fingers. I tap a syringe with my finger.

"An injection?" she asks, her eyes widening even more so I can see almost all of her blue irises. I don't blame her though, I wasn't great with needles at first.

"We use a more advanced version of the simulation here," I say, "a different serum, no wires or electrodes for you."

"How does it work without wires?" she asks skittishly.

"Well _I_ have wires, so I can see what's going on," I explain. "But for you, there's a tiny transmitter in the serum that sends data to the computer.

I turn her arm, then push the needles as tenderly as possible into the side of her neck. She winces and looks up at me, eyes searching my face frantically. Her breaths are already getting fast and shallow.

"The serum will go into effect in sixty seconds. This simulation is different from the aptitude test," I say. "In addition to containing the transmitter, the serum stimulates the amygdale, which is the part of the brain involved in processing negative emotions- like fear- and then induces the hallucination. The brain's electrical activity is then transmitted to our computer, which then translates your hallucination into a simulated image that I can see and monitor. I will then forward the recording to Dauntless administrators. You say in the hallucination until you calm down- that is, lower your heart rate and control your breathing."

I rest my hands on the chair of both sides of her head and lean forward just a bit. The shadow I cast over her still does not hide her fear.

"Be brave, Tris," I whisper. "The first time is always the hardest." I wish I could help her more. She's still looking at me, but her eyes have a glaze over them and I know she's already under.

I know she can't hear me now, but I whisper, "You'll be fine," and pat her hand lightly.

I move over to the monitor, and I have the wires connected to my skin.

She stands in a sea of tall grass. The grass stands straight in strands around her. She looks up to see a brownish- green sky. Her body recoils. I look over at her body in the chair, and she is doing the same thing in the metal chair.

I hear what she hears- wings flapping.

A crow lands on her shoulder, and she grimaces a little from its impact. She hits it with her hand; her teeth clamp hard on her lower lip.

She turns to see the bird. It's really huge. She hits it again and again, but it won't budge. It stares back at her as if she's standing still. I hear thunder.

The scene grows darker, but sun rays still hit the curves of her face when she looks up. A whole group of crows are headed directly for her. Sharp talons. Sharp beaks.

They come loudly now, and encircle her so I can't even see her on the screen. I turn to her unconscious form near me, and she's screaming bloody murder. Tears begin to stream from her eyes, and her arms make large circles at her sides. She shakes her head rapidly.

"Come on, Tris," I mumble.

She's in pure agony at this point and I can see blood leaking from the sides of the crow pack.

"Help!" she screeches. "Help!" I wish I could.

At this point Uriah was thrashing in his simulation, and it would be two more minutes before he started petting the snakes surrounding him and they would disappear. That's how I found out he was Divergent.

"Help," the word comes out in a burst, the cry of someone dying.

"Help!"

All goes silent and her body goes still.

I hear her breathing heavily, steadily next to me. It is a struggle, but I see in the corner of the screen that he heart isn't spastically beating anymore.

I can barely see her, but she is flattening herself against the ground, struggling to control her crying.

She did it.

I stand over her and her eyes pop open, wider than they had ever been. She screams again, her body slamming against the chair. She moans and curls into a tight ball, pushing her face down to hide.

I put a hand on her shoulder and she punches my stomach.

"Don't touch me!" And she starts crying harder.

"It's over," I say. I run my hand over her hair. I'm trying to comfort her, but I'm not too good at this kind of stuff. I've never liked a girl this much, and I'm not so great in the sensitivity department.

She runs her hands up and down the skin on her arms, slowly rocking back and forth.

"Tris."

She is silent.

"Tris, I'm going to take you back to the dorms, okay?"

"No!" She says forcefully. She looks up and stares at me angrily, but she's having a hard time with her quivering lip and the tears spilling out onto her cheeks. "They can't see me… not like this…"

Really. They all look like this. "Oh, calm down," I say, rolling my eyes. "I'll take you out the back door." I say, though.

"I don't need you to…" her voice cuts off and she shakes her head. In the back of my mind, I realize that I still don't know if she's Divergent, the simulation didn't tell me enough. But, I'm pulled back to the situation- because she's shaking now, hard. Yes, she does need me to.

Her comment really is- "Nonsense." I grab her arm and pull her up easily. She wipes her eyes like a child, using her whole hand, and I direct her to the back door.

We walk down the hallways, with only the squeaks of our shoes for noise. She stops suddenly and pulls her arm away.

"Why did you do that to me?" she asks. "What was the point of that huh? I wasn't aware that when I chose Dauntless, I was signing up for weeks of torture!" The shock has worn off and her fear has turned itself into anger. I don't blame her, but I have to be hard on her, I know.

"Did you think overcoming cowardice would be easy?" I ask her, my voice unrepentantly level.

"That isn't overcoming cowardice! Cowardice is how you decide to be in real life, and in real life, I am not getting pecked to death by crows, Four!" she holds her face in her hands and cries again.

I don't know what to say, but I wish I could take the fear from her, do something to calm her. I've never seen her this way. She stops her sobbing quickly this time, though.

"I want to go home," her shaky voice says to me, her confession barely audible.

I press my lips together and look at her blankly. "Learning how to think in the midst of fear," I say, "is a lesson that everyone, even your Stiff family, needs to learn. That's what we're trying to teach you. If you can't learn it, you'll need to get the heck out of here, because we won't want you." I know it's harsh, but it really is true, and what she needs to hear.

"I'm _trying._" Her lip quivers. "But I failed. I'm failing."

I let out a sigh. "How long do you think you spend in that hallucination, Tris?"

"I don't know." She shakes her head and looks at her shoes. "A half hour?"

"Three minutes," I say. "You got out three times faster than the other initiates. Whatever you are, you're not a failure." _Are you Divergent? _The question prickles at my brain. A smile creeps up onto my face. "Tomorrow you'll be better at this. You'll see."

"Tomorrow?" she ways the words as if it's impossible to get out, and her voice sound hollow.

I touch her lightly on the back and she looks up at me.

"What was your first hallucination?" she says.

"It wasn't a 'what' so much as a 'who.'" I shrug my shoulders. I don't really want her to know…yet. "It's not important."

"Are you over that fear now?"

"Not yet," I answer. I lean against the wall and my hands slip into the pockets at my hips. "I may never be."

"So they don't go away?"

"Sometimes they do. And sometimes new fears replace them." I say this, but neither of those tings have happened to me. My fingers fiddle with my belt loops. I look back to her. "But becoming fearless isn't the point. That's impossible. It's learning how to control your fear, and how to be free from it, _that's_ the point."

She nods, her silky hair slipping over her ears, where it was tucked in,

"Anyway, your fears are rarely what they appear to be in the simulation," I say.

"What do you mean?" he eyes lock to mine.

"Well, are you really afraid of crows?" I ask her, smiling. Sorry, but if she says yes, I think I really will laugh. "When you see one, do you run away screaming?"

"No. I guess not." She steps in closer to me, and looks up, peering into my eyes. Did her mom say something to her? No. Her mom left immediately after talking to me. My entire body tenses a bit, but I feel better. She leans a little closer. "So what am I really afraid of?" she asks.

"I don't know," I say, completely honest. "Only you can know."

She nods. "I didn't know becoming Dauntless would be this difficult," she says. I remember feeling the same way.

"It wasn't always like this, I'm told," I say, moving my shoulder blade into a more comfortable position on the wall.

"What changed?"

"The leadership," I say. "The person who controls the training sets the standard of Dauntless behavior. Six years ago Max and the other leader changed the training methods to make them more competitive and brutal, said it was supposed to test people's strength. And that changed the priorities of Dauntless as a whole. Bet you can't guess who the leader's new protégé is." I realize I'm talking to her more as a friend than as an instructor.

But I like this better.

She looks up at me like she's just figured something out. "So if you were ranked first in your initiate class," she says, "what was Eric's rank?"

"Second."

"So he was their second choice for leadership," she nods, figuring more out. "And you were their first."

I don't really answer. "What makes you say that?"

"The way Eric was acting at dinner the first night. Jealous, even though he has what he wants."  
I don't answer, because she knows what she's saying and thinking is true, and I don't like questions.

She sniffs quickly, wipes her face, runs her hands over her hair. "Do I look like I've been crying?" she asks.

"Hmm." I lean close to her, my eyes moving around her whole face. It's amazing how fast she's recovered. My nose almost touches hers and I smile a bit- she's holding her breath. That's cute.

"No, Tris," I say, the smile fading. "You look tough as nails."

**Hee hee I enjoyed writing this chapter and I hope you enjoyed it! :) please review!**


	10. Chapter 10

**10**

I join a few of the other Dauntless my age. Most of them hold beer bottles and slap me on the back heartily, laughing. Their laughter is contagious, and their red faces and joyful eyes make me join in.

"Hey, Four," one of the guys from my initiation class, Jeremy, says. "What's up?" his voice gets high at the end, but he doesn't wait for me to answer. He just shakes a bottle in his right hand, and shoves it into my hand, taking a swig from the one in his left.

I take a long gulp and feel a burn in my body- a good burn that makes my brain feel tingly. I laugh at Anna's jokes, Cam's stories, taking longer and longer gulps with everyone else as we make our way over to the chasm.

My stomach hurts from laughing and tears brim my eyes as the world around me moves from dull to bright to dull. I grab the railing because I feel like I might fall. I forget about everything except laughing and take another swig. My second bottle is almost empty. I look up to try to locate another drink, but instead I locate Tris. Even better.

"Tris!" Her name bursts from my mouth. My fingers slide from the cool metal railing and I feel a little dizzy, but I walk up to her anyway. I think she's with a group. Oh well- I want to talk to her. As I get closer, I realize that she looks amazing. She's wearing a deeper cut shirt and her eyes look different- even more noticeable and vibrant.

"You look different," I say, through the blur in my mind.

"So do you," she says. "What are you doing?"

"Flirting with death," I say. I meant to say flirting with you, but I'm doing both so I add, "Drinking near the chasm. Probably not a good idea."

"No, it isn't." She looks at me, eyes widening a bit. I randomly feel like picking her up and seeing how many times I can spin her before I fall. I feel laughter bubbling up and my eyes skitter across the ink on her skin.

"Didn't know you had a tattoo," I say swallowing. I stare at her collarbone, a bit too long, then take another drink. "Right. The _crows,_" I say. I look back at Anna, Cam, Jeremy, and the others. "I'd ask you to hand out with us, but you're not supposed to see me this way." I wish I could ask her to hang out with me. I want to talk to her, a lot.

"What way?" she asks. "Drunk?"

"Yeah…well, no." I say. There aren't rules about initiates seeing their instructors drunk. "Real, I guess."

"I'll pretend I didn't."

"Nice of you." I say. I practically kiss her ear, which makes my stomach turn, but I whisper, "You look good, Tris."

She laughs. "Do me a favor and stay away from the chasm, okay?"

I pull away from her; the room is spinning. "Of course." I wink at her, and it takes a lot of effort. I turn on my heel and walk back to the group. I turn one last time and wave quickly to her, and she waves back, perched over Al's shoulder. Weird place for her to travel.

**I tried my best on this I know most people enjoy reading the drunk-Four excerpt from his perspective so I tried not to disappoint! Please review!**


	11. Chapter 11

**11**

Tris is already breathing heavily.

"It's just a simulation, Tris," I say, trying to sooth her with my voice.

She closes her eyes tight and nods slowly.

She's terrified.

I inject the needle into her arm this time and watch the monitor. She is in darkness until blue lights glow just enough to illuminate the faces of the other initiates around her.

She's trapped in a glass box, and touches one of the sides. She tries to force the top off, but it doesn't work. Strangely, I see myself walk up to her. I tap on the glass and she looks at me. I point to her shoes, and a small smirk crosses my face. She squats down, then looks up at me, and I shrug and go back to stand with the crowd.

She pounds on the glass. "Hey!" she says. "Let me out of here!"

The water rises fast, it will overtake her soon, she's so small. She continues to try to break out, but it's impossible against this simulation glass.

"Help!" the words screech on their way out of her throat. "Please! Please help!"

She slaps the glass and starts shaking. Her eyes move frantically, and she seems to relax as the water submerges her body. As soon as the box is filled, though, she convulses against the glass again.

She screams and the water does little to muffle the noise.

She hits the wall.

The glass cracks.

My mouth drops open.

She did it.

She's Divergent.

She takes in a gasping breath and sits up in the chair. She shakes her hands and looks up at me. I stare back in disbelief- so I was right.

"What?" she asks.

"How did you do that?"

"Do what?"

"Crack the glass."

"I don't know." I give her my hand and she stands up strong this time. I let out a sigh, grabbing her arm, and pull her down part of the hallway. I look at her for a bit.

"What?" she asks, perturbed.

"You're Divergent," I say.

Her eyes grow wide, she's been discovered, but she quickly forces them back to their normal size. She leans against the wall. "What's Divergent?"

"Don't play stupid," I say. "I suspected it last time, but this time it's obvious. You manipulated the simulation; you're Divergent. I'll delete the footage, but unless you want to wind up _dead_ at the bottom of the chasm, you'll learn how to hide it during the simulations! Now, if you'll excuse me."

I walk away and don't look back and slam the door as I go into the room. I'm mad. It's not fair for me to be mad at her, I realize that. But, she could die. I'm mad that she could die, and it's not her fault. But, if she can't figure out how to hide her Divergence, then it will be, and I can't help her in any other way now, other than deleting the footage. That will draw attention, but at least not as much as the footage itself would.

I wish this didn't happen to her. The same thing happened to me. Amar deleted the footage.

**Thanks for sticking with this story! Please review! Thanks! :)**


	12. Chapter 12

**12**

I walk through the Pit alone. A few Dauntless decided to go on a daring adventure. As soon as they said the word 'heights' I was out. I see a flash of blond hair disappear down a hallway.

I wait a few moments, then follow her.

I walk to the members' entrance and Tris is stretched out on the net, hands holding her head. Her stomach rises and falls evenly, but much too deeply. I walk silently and stand over her. I watch her trembling fingers, her nails, or what is left of them after she's chewed them, glistens a little, even without any light that I can find. After a moment, she lifts her head, and he eyes meet mine.

"I know the simulation isn't real," she says.

I monitored her simulation again today. She had to shoot her family. It was painful just to watch her. _My _eyes even began to brim with tears.

"You don't have to explain it to me," I say. "You love your family. You don't want to shoot them. Not the most unreasonable thing in the world."

She explains a bit anyway. "In the simulation is the only time I get to see them," she says, her eyes practically drained of their usual light.

She laces her fingers and slides them apart. "I miss them. You ever just…miss your family?" A twinkle comes back into her eye, but I think it might be a tear.

I look straight into her eyes. The only family I have left is my father, but I don't even count him. "No," I say. "I don't. But that's unusual." I don't offer an explanation. She's headed towards the door, but pauses when she gets there to look back. I look at her and feel like, in a way, we kind of understand something about each other. I feel like she can see straight through me and I can see straight through her. I feel some of the walls I have put up between me and the world crumbling from the weight of her gaze.

She breaks our gaze and scurries off into the hallway. I want to take to her more, but I also want her to go to her dorm, to see how much better she has been doing. I know she's the fastest in simulations, and I hope she's proud. But she needs to be careful, too.

I join up with Zeke and Shauna a little later. We walk down a hallway, near the training room.

"I heard the Stiff did really well," Shauna says.

"Yep," I say quickly.

Shauna looks at me mischievously. "Well," she taps her chin with a finger and smiles. "Sounds like someone doesn't want to talk about it, she beasted your times, didn't she? Or…wait! Maybe, you don't want to talk about _her?_"

Maybe it isn't a mom thing. Maybe it's just a girl thing. I don't look her in the eye and Zeke laughs.

"Oh, awww, Four, that's just _adorable_! Can you believe it, Zeke, Four has emotions and he _likes_ someone!"

Zeke continues laughing.

I smile a little and look at the floor.

"Don't worry, Four, we won't tell anyone!" Shauna says, nudging me in the ribs, and I let out a little laugh.

"Shh," I say, hearing something.

"Embarrassed?" Zeke asks.

"I hear something," I say, "from the training room." We exchange a look and turn, take a few steps, turn again, and open the door to the training room

"I thought I heard something in here," I say.

It's Lynn, Uriah, Marlene, and Tris.

"Turns out its my idiot brother," says Zeke. "You're not supposed to be in here after hours. Careful, or Four will tell Eric, and then you'll be as good as scalped."

Caught in their crime, the four put their weapons away and begin on their way out.

"You wouldn't tell Eric," Lynn says. I know she's sounding tough, but I can tell she's still a bit worried.

"No, I wouldn't," I say. Tris is the last out, and I fall in line behind her, resting a hand on top of her back. He shoulder blades move a little as she glides out, and a shiver shoots through her body. I let the others get a lead.

"Wait a second," I say to her. I give her a half- hearted smile, but I'm worried about her.

"You belong here, you know that?" the words stumble on their way out, I'm trying to apologize for being too stern earlier. "You belong with us. It'll be over soon, so just hold on, okay?" I scratch behind my ear, and take my gaze off hers. I want her to be okay. I can feel her eyes search me. She reaches towards me, and grabs my hand and laces her fingers with mine. We stare at each other. My heart pulses so hard I'm afraid she can hear it. After a while, she breaks away and runs off, leaving me with a dazed feeling.

I walk slowly back from the control room. I worked really late, but I'm not really tired. I walk steadily across the cold stone floor. I hear the rush of the chasm around the corner…then I hear a scream.

I whip around the corner and a few hundred feet away from me, Peter is holding Tris by the neck. Tris thrashes; helpless.

Drew sees me, and shouts. Drew is not fortunate enough to be a few hundred feet away from me. I punch and kick repeatedly and his skin immediately cracks and blood comes out. I know my knuckles are doing the same, but I don't even look down. Drew reaches up but only scratches my face a little before I knock him out cold; anger and adrenaline coursing through my veins.

I run to Tris. Peter dropped her to run, and she's hanging over the railing of the chasm- half unconscious. She looks up and "Four," barely escapes her lips, before her eyes close.

"No, no, no," I whisper, and pull her up, easing my hands under her arms. I breathe heavily, pulling her against me safely. I trap her in my arms then pick her up under her knees and behind her back, like a child- though I know better than to think that.

She leans her had to my shoulder and falls unconscious. I don't trust anyone else to take care of her, so I carry her back to my apartment. She shows no sign of life other than a shallow breathing that skims over my collar bone.

**Hey! Please review! Y'all are awesome!**


	13. Chapter 13

**13**

I push the door to my apartment open with my foot and lay Tris steadily down on my bed. She's already bruised, and I tuck my quilt under her head, smoothing her hair before gently laying her back down. I lock my apartment, with her safely inside and go to take Drew to the infirmary. As soon as I hand him over to the nurse I sprint back to my apartment.

She's not awake yet, and I decide to address my wounds quickly before she comes to. I walk to the sink and begin to wash my bloodied knuckles. The cuts aren't so bad, and I cut off the water and dry my hands. I turn off the light of the bathroom and cross over to the refrigerator and grab an ice pack.

She looks up at me and the wounds show all the way through her eyes. The first thing out of her lips is something very Abnegation-oriented, though. "Your hands," she says, her voice scratchy and hardly raising above a whisper.

"My hands are none of your concern," I say. I set a knee on the mattress and I cast a shadow over her curled body. I put the ice pack under her head. She reaches up to touch the cut on my lip.

"Tris," I say, my warm breath spreading across her cold fingers," I'm all right."

"Why were you there?" she asks, removing her hand.

"I was coming back from the control room. I heard a scream."

"What did you do to them?" she asks.

"I deposited Drew at the infirmary a half hour ago," I say. "Peter and Al ran. Drew claimed they were just trying to scare you. At least, I think that's what he was trying to say."

"He's in bad shape?"

"He'll live," I say. He was the one I took out all of their actions on. I say quietly, "In what condition, I can't say."

She wraps delicate fingers around my wrist and squeezes as much as her strength will let her.

"Good," she says. I see a whole flood of emotion pass through her eyes before tears spill out of them.

I crouch beside my bed and watch her. I pull myself from her grasp and move my hand to the side of her cheek, and stroke my thumb across her wet cheekbone.

"I could report this," I say.

"No," she sniffs. "I don't want them to think I'm scared."

I nod, and continue to move my finger in a rhythmic pattern over her cheekbone. "I figured you would say that."

"You think it would be a bad idea if I sat up?" she asks. I don't think it's a great idea, but she seems to be one of those people who finds pain a little embarrassing; someone like me.

"I'll help you."

I grab her shoulder with one hand to brace her, and slide my other behind her head to keep it from bobbing. She sits up slowly. She tries to hide the pain she's in but fails as every bit of her body language suggests agony.

I give her the ice pack. "You can let yourself be in pain," I say quietly. "It's just me here."

She bites on her lip hard, and the tissue around her clamped teeth turns paler than the rest of her lips. Tears stream out, but she stops them. Her face glistens of salt and water.

"I suggest you rely on your transfer friends to protect you from now on," I say. If I had my choice, I'd position myself as full-time guardian, but that would never work, and it would probably only embarrass her.

"I thought I was," she says. Her body suddenly is thrown forward as she starts crying again. "But Al…"

"He wanted you to be the small, quiet girl from Abnegation," I say, trying to make my tone sound soothing, thought the words are not. "he hurt you because your strength made him feel weak. No other reason."

She nods, and I continue to talk in a soft tone.

"The others won't be as jealous if you show some vulnerability. Even if it isn't real."

"You think I have to _pretend_ to be vulnerable? She asks.

I used to not think so, but now I do. "Yes, I do." I take the ice pack from her hand, noticing her arm quivering in exhaustion, and I run my fingers over hers by no accident. I hold the ice pack in place and her hand drops as I stand up.

"You're going to want to march into breakfast tomorrow and show your attackers they had no effect on you," I continue, "but you should let that bruise on your cheek show, and keep your head down."

I know she doesn't like the idea, but she has to. "I don't think I can do that," she says, peering into my eyes.

"You have to."

"I don't think you _get_ it." She says this, and her cheeks turn crimson with embarrassment, but why? "They touched me."

My entire body clenches, anger traveling through me, angry heat in every part of me. "Touched you," I say, searching her face.

"Not…in the way you're thinking." She says, clearing her throat. "But…almost." She takes her eyes off mine.

I think I get what she means, and I immediately shove the thoughts from my brain. If I ever get a chance to hurt Peter- I will. I stay quiet, not really knowing what to so or rather, how to say this.

"What is it?" she asks.

"I don't want to say this," I say, "but I feel like I have to. It is more important for you to be safe than right, for the time being. Understand?" She searches my eyes and nods.

But I really want to say this. "But please, when you see an opportunity…: I say, tilting her head up so her eyes lock on mine again. "Ruin them." And I'd love to help.

She laughs a breathy laugh. "You're a little scary, Four."

"Do me a favor," I say, "and don't call me that."

"What should I call you, then?"

"Nothing," I say, pulling my hand from her cheek. "Yet." I want her to know my real name, to know me, but something stops me.

**Hey! Thanks for all the reviews! For those of you wondering... Chapter 6 if Veronica Roth's amazing work, but the rest is my imagination. I just put Veronica's work up to show you what inspired me to write the rest of the story! I hope you enjoy it!**


	14. Chapter 14

**14**

I don't let her go back to the dorm, and I know she doesn't want to anyway. There's nowhere else for her to go, and I'd rather her stay here, so it works out well, though I still wish she wasn't hurt to begin with. I lay down on the floor, and I can only see half of her- eyes closed though she's not asleep yet, arms encircling my pillow like she's giving it a hug.

I roll to my stomach and rest my head on my arm and my eyelids go heavy and I drift off to sleep.

I wake up several times through the nights, checking to make sure Tris is still safe and sound on my bed. I wake again at about four in the morning. My entire body hurts, I have wood floors in my apartment. I peak up at Tris and she's moved to the very edge of the bed against the wall. I get up quietly and ease my body next to hers, but she's in a deep sleep and doesn't move.

I put a hand on her shoulder, which is bare from the sleeveless top she's wearing. Her skin is cool, but not quite cold, and I try to send some of my warmth into her as I fall back to sleep.

I wake, my hand still resting on Tris's shoulder. I move slowly and quietly off the bed and slip out to the shower hall for a quick shower.

A few minutes later, I walk back in and Tris is awake. I rub the towel across my hair, trying to keep it from sticking up in all the wrong places.

At least most of it flops into place.

"Hi," she says, throat croaking slightly. I barely touch the bruise on her cheek. It looks much better than I had expected it to.

"Not bad," I say. "How's your head?"

"Fine," she says, but I can see pain struggling to surface in her eyes. I move my fingers to brush her side, where she got kicked. I'm pretty sure there's a bruise there now, but I wouldn't know, and I wouldn't ask her to look now.

"And your side?" I ask.

"Only hurts when I breathe."

I smile a little. "Not much you can do about that."

"Peter would probably throw a party if I stopped breathing."

"Well," I say, " I would only go if there was cake."

She laughs, but pain makes its way into her expression. Instinctively, her hand goes to the source, which happens to be where my hand is. I pull out from under her hand, my fingers smoothing over her waist. I nod a little and head towards the door, and I feel a longing in my chest to be near her again.

"I'll go in first," I say once we get to the entrance of the dining hall. "See you soon, Tris."

I walk in and sit with Shauna and Zeke. When Drew walks in with his bruised- up face, I can't stop the smile. Purple, blue, tan. My masterpiece.

I wait a bit, then stand up. "Transfers. We're doing something different today," I say. "Follow me," I lead them out of the dining hall and onto a path around the Pit. We walk a bit, and then I turn to face them and walk backwards. I know I won't lose my step-I couldn't falter on these steps I know so well. Drew is dragging tired feet at the back of the pack. "Pick up the pace, Drew!" I try not to smirk and I force my eyes to shift elsewhere, but they easily find Tris. Her arm is around Will. I allow jealousy to run through my body for a moment. No- I tell myself. Will likes Christina- it can't be like that. I push the thought from my mind.

I lead them up flights of stairs to the glass building that tops the Pit. There are lots of Dauntless spread around the room.

I take them through the small crowd that has accumulated and into the fear landscape room. Walls with pipes everywhere- very old but used for a very specific purpose.

"This," I say, "is a different kind of simulation known as the fear landscape. It has been disabled for our purposes, so this isn't what it will be like the next time you see it." I remember my first time in my fear landscape and try not to let the shiver that's accumulating in my body free. "Through your simulations, we have stored data about your worst fears. The fear landscape accesses that data and presents you with a series of virtual obstacles. Some of the obstacles will be fears you previously faced in your simulations. Some may be new fears. The difference is that you are aware, in the fear landscape, that it is a simulation, so you will have your wits about you as you go through it."

I think first of Tris, and then of Uriah. They will have no edge on the others.

"The number of fears you have in your fear landscape varies according to how many you have." I add this on, and I know immediately there will be questions, but luckily they don't ask any. "I told you before that the third stage of initiation focuses on mental preparation." I say. "that is because it requires you to control both your emotions and your body- to combine the physical abilities you learned in stage one with the emotional mastery you learned in stage two. To keep a level head."

I look directly at Tris once I find her. It isn't so hard, her face is a whole head below most of the others.

"Next week you will go through your fear landscape as quickly as possible in front of a panel of Dauntless leaders. That will be your final test, which determines your ranking for stage three. Just a stage two of initiation is weighed more heavily than stage one, stage three is weighted heaviest of all. Understood?" I hope they do. I dread repeating all that.

They all nod. I continue, because they also need to know how to get out.

"You can find a way to calm down enough that the simulation registers a normal, steady heartbeat, or you find a way to face your fear, which can force the simulation to move on. One way to face a fear of drowning is to swim deeper, for example." I shrug my shoulders. "So I suggest that you take the next week to consider your fears and develop strategies to face them."

"That doesn't sound fair," Peter pipes up. "What if one person only has seven fears and someone else has twenty? That's not their fault."

A wry smile works its way onto my face, and I laugh, transported back to last night. "Do you really want to talk to me about what's fair?"

I walk forward, and the initiates move for me. I'm a few inches taller than peter, and folding my arms makes me feel bigger, too. I practically spit out my words, "I understand why you're worried, Peter. The events of last night certainly proved that you are a miserable coward."

Peter stares back at me with a blank face,

"So now we all know," I say in a quiet voice, but I know everyone can hear me- you could hear a pin drop in here by now, "that you are afraid of a short, skinny girl from Abnegation." A smile spreads across my face and I see that Tris smiles too.

**Hey! thanks for all your feedback and please keep reviewing!**


	15. Chapter 15

**15**

I can't stand to go to Al's funeral. I heard about it not too long ago, but I stand alone in a hallway with a water fountain at the end. I'm hidden by the shadows as I see Tris turn in, relaxing as if she escaped something. She shakes her head frantically, as if the motion could shake away a though.

"Tris," I say.

Her back stiffens and she turns to look at me. I can't exactly see her face in the dark, with the light behind her. I see more of her outline, a small dark figure in the large opening.

"What are you doing here?" she asks. "Shouldn't you be paying your respects?"

"Should you?" I ask back, and I step closer to her.

"Can't pay respect when you don't have any," she says in a blank and hallow tone. She shakes her head. "I didn't mean that."

"Ah." That's my only reply, but I'm not sure I believe her.

"This is ridiculous," she says, and I can hear the frustration in her voice. "He throws himself off a ledge and Eric's calling it brave? Eric, who tried to have you throw knives at Al's head?" She purses her lips. "He wasn't brave! He was depressed and a coward and he almost killed me! Is that the kind of thing we respect here?"

I keep my tone level. "What do you want them to do?" I ask. "Condemn him? Al's already dead. He can't hear it and it's too late."

"It's not _about_ Al," she says angrily. "It's about everyone watching! Everyone who now sees hurling themselves into the chasm as a viable option. I mean, why not do it if everyone calls you a hero afterward? Why not do it if everyone will remember your name? It's…I can't…" her voice raises now. "This would _never_ have happened in Abnegation!" She shakes a bit. "None of it! Never. This place warped him and ruined him, and I don't care if saying that makes me a Stiff, I don't care, I don't _care_!"

I remember that there is a camera above the water fountain; it is monitoring us now.

"Careful, Tris," I say, my eyes still locked in on the camera.

"Is that all you can say?" she asks, anger bubbling up inside her. "That I should be _careful? _That's _it?"_

"You're as bad as the Candor, you know that?" I grip her arm around the elbow, and pull her from the camera. I feel her breath against my face, even when she struggles to break free, but right now, the camera can still see us. "I'm not going to say this again, so listen carefully." I press down on her shoulders and my fingers tense, but I can't help it. "They are watching you. _You_ in particular."

"Let go of me," she says, in a voice barely audible.

I do as she says, and my body stiffens.

"Are they watching you, too?" she asks in the same, quiet voice.

They are, but I don't answer that. Why won't she listen to me? "I keep trying to help you," I say, "but you refuse to be helped."

"Oh, right. Your _help_," her voice is angry. "Stabbing my ear with a knife and taunting me and yelling at me more than you yell at anyone else, it sure if helpful."

Why doesn't she get it? I yell at her more than anyone so no one will suspect I like her- for her benefit! I ignore that part of the comment, though. "Taunting you? You mean when I threw the knives? I wasn't taunting you," I say, trying to suppress the frustration in my voice." I was reminding you that if you failed, someone else would have to take your place."

She takes a moment to think about this. "Why?"

"Because you're from Abnegation," I say softer, "and it's when you're acting selflessly that you are at your bravest." It's true, because that is how I am, too. But I think she's better than I am. "If I were you, I would do a better job of pretending that selfless impulse is going away," I say, "because if the wrong people discover it…well, it won't be good for you."

"Why? Why do they care about my intentions?" she asks.

"Intentions are the _only_ thing they care about. They try to make you think they care about what you do, but they don't. They don't want you to act a certain way. They want you to _think_ a certain way. So you're easy to understand. So you won't pose a threat to them." I stretch a hand out next to her head and lean in close to her. I'm worried for her, the only thing about her that doesn't suggest a threat is her size; but she is everything the leaders fear: smart, brave, capable, a leader, and different- uncontrollable.

"I don't understand," she says, "why they care what I think, as long as I'm acting how they want me to."

It's not so simple. "You're acting how they want you to now," I say, "but what happens when your Abnegation- wired brain tells you to do something else, something they don't want?"

She waits a moment before looking up at me. "I might not need you to help me. Ever think about that?" she asks. "I'm not weak, you know. I can do this one my own."

I shake my head. I know she's strong- she still doesn't understand. At first, I didn't even see a need to protect her. Then Peter got her, and I helped her. She doesn't need me to help her anymore, but I want to continually protect her for selfish reasons. "You think my first instinct is to protect you. Because you're small, or a girl, or a Stiff. But you're wrong."

I lean in close to her and contemplate kissing her, but her eyes grow wide, and I decide against it, but I can't stop my hand from lifting and my fingers from curling around her chin. Her skin is soft against my rough hand. "My _first _instinct is to push you until you break, just to see how hard I have to press," I say, and it's true just because I'm naturally curious like that, and she's interesting to watch like that. I lift my eyes from her chin to her sparkling eyes. "But I resist it."

"Why…" her voice cuts off for a second. "Why is that your first instinct?"

"Fear doesn't shut you down; it wakes you up. I've seen it. It's fascinating. I move my hand across her jaw, gliding down her neck. My stomach is twisting, but she must be about to explode. She looks very awake and I hope I'm not scaring her- she looks electrified by my touch. "Sometimes I just… want to see it again. Want to see you awake."

Her hands move up to my waist and she pulls herself against me, her head resting on my chest, delicate fingers skimming my back, arms tight around my body, and I can feel warmth spreading all through me.

It's been so long since I've hugged someone, the touch feels foreign… but good. I spread my fingers across her back, and push her in closer to me, and move my other hand over her soft, silky hair.

"Should I be crying?" she asks, he warm breath penetrating my shirt to the skin over my heart. "Is there something wrong with me?"

"You think I know anything about tears?" I ask softly. She presses her forehead to my shoulder.

"If I had forgiven him," she says, "do you think he would be alive now?"

"I don't know," I say, and I don't- Al was a loose cannon- I should have seen it coming. I cover he cheek with my hand and she turns he face into it. I can tell how starved she has been of any type of physical affection, the way her grip tightens. It's been weeks probably since she's hugged her family, or anyone for that matter. And physical touch isn't all that common in Abnegation, anyways. Her long eyelashes tickle my fingers and I feel the curve of her nose and lips in my palm.

"I feel like it's my fault." It's not- she can't think that. I pull back and bend , putting my forehead against hers.

"It isn't your fault," I say.

"But I should have. I should have forgiven him."

"Maybe. Maybe there's more we all could have done," I say, "but we just have to let the guilt remind us to do better next time."

She looks back at me.

"What faction did you come from, Four?" she asks. I realize what I told her is very Abnegation- minded.

"It doesn't matter," I say, my eyes looking at her shoes. "This is where I am now. Something you would do well to remember for yourself."

I look at her and feel a deep ache in my stomach. I want her to know, I do, I think. I also want to kiss her too, but I don't know if she'd want it. I decide to kiss her forehead- long and slowly- her hands still resting on my sides.

**I hope you enjoy his POV in my work! I really tried to capture his mind! Please give me feedback! Thanks y'all!**


	16. Chapter 16

**16**

I walk around the Pit, because I know Tris is there. I want her to follow me, so I hope she sees me on the way up to the fear landscape room. I walk into the room, and go to the box that holds the syringe to put me under, and I know she's walked in. "Since you're here," I say without looking up from the task at hand, "you might as well go in with me."

"Into your fear landscape?"

"Yes." I have never let anyone in with me before.

She walks over to me, "I can do that?"  
"The serum connects you to the program," I say, "but the program determines whose landscape you go through and right now, it's set to put us through mine."

"You would let me see that?"

"Why else do you think I'm going in?" I barely am able to raise my voice above a whisper. But, I want her to know me, and I'm not so great with words, and I can't imagine going through this alone again. "There are some things I want to show you."

I hold the syringe, and she moves her head so I can inject her neck. She doesn't even flinch- she's gotten much better. I set her needle down, and give her the box, with my syringe resting in it.

"I've never done this before," she says, picking up the syringe uncomfortably.

"Right here," I say, tapping my neck in the right spot. She has to raise herself on her toes to get it right, and her hands shake while she injects me, but I don't flinch either.

I put both of our empty syringes back in the box, leaving the box by the door. I hold my hand out for her to take, not sure if I need it more, or want it more- probably both equally.

My fingers always get cold before I go into my fear landscape, but her tight grip and warmth ease the cold some.

"See if you can figure our why they call me Four," I say. We walk through a doorway, and I close the door behind us. A shiver runs through me as we ender a dark, cold hallway, and she pulls closer to me.

"What's your real name?"

"See if you can figure that out too."

We are now transported by the simulation to the top of a building- bright blue sky surrounding us. The wind makes our clothes flap hard against us.

The building is taller this time. It must be.

She leans against me and I put my arm around her shoulders, thankful for the support. My heart races too fast, and I break into a cold sweat. My teeth clench so hard that my jaw hurts. It's hard to breath through my teach, but my jaws will not unlock.

"We have to jump off, right?" she yells above the howl of air swirling around us. I can barely get my head to nod. My sight reaches further and further into the air but there is nothing beyond…only down.

"On three, okay?" Nodding again hurts my neck.

"One…two…_three!_" She breaks into a sprint, and I have to follow her, even though it feels like there is lead weighing my legs down. We take off over the edging of the roof, and we shoot toward the ground. I stifle the yell I feel bubbling up in the bottom of my stomach, a swirling feeling deep inside me.

The world around us dissolves and the falling sensation stops, and we are on the floor. She smiles. I don't know how. I press my hand to my chest, as if it could help my intensely-pulsing heartbeat. She gets up, and holder he hand out to help me up. "What's next?"  
"It's-" my voice breaks as her body slams into mine, a domino effect from the walls pressing in on us. I push my arms into my chest, curving my chin over my fists, right as a ceiling pounds in on top of the box. I bend at the waist and let a groan escape me.  
"Confinement," she says.

I hope he understands my groaning is a form for yes. She pulls back to look at me, but I can barely see her, my eyes squinted, lips pursed, forehead wrinkled.

"Hey," she says, in a soothing voice. "It's okay. Here-" she pulls my arms around her so there's more space. I hold her small body close to me now, teeth clenched. I hope I'm not crushing her, but fear courses through me so fast I can't keep my arms from pulling her closer. A thought flits through my mind that she feels almost like a child, small, and wrapped up in my arms this way. I hope she doesn't care. Because honestly, I couldn't be happier. She takes up less space in this ever- shrinking box.

"This is the first time I'm happy I'm so small." She laughs a little, but I'm not easily distracted from the ceiling pressing in on my back.

"Mmhmm," I say. I'm happy she's small too, but the box is getting smaller.

"We can't break out of here," she says. "It's easier to face this fear head on, right?" I clutch her tighter- the box moves in. "So what you need to do is make the space smaller. Make it worse so it gets better. Right?"

She talks to me like she's the instructor, and the word barely forces its way from my throat: "Yes." She squeezes me around the middle and brings me to the floor. She curls into a tight ball, and my body wraps around hers completely. I breathe heavily against her ear. This wasn't a good idea. Nope. Not at all. "Ah." I say. "This is worse. This is definitely…"

"Shh," she cuts my words off. "Arms around me." I don't argue and my arms encircle her waist. "The simulation measures your fear response," she says in a calming tone. "So if you can calm your heartbeat down, it will move on to the next one. Remember? So try to forget that we're here."

"Yeah?" I say into her ear. That's impossible for me. "That easy, huh?"  
"You know, most boys would enjoy being trapped in close quarters with a girl!"

A small part of me _does_ enjoy holding her like this, but most of me feels like I'm going to die. "Not claustrophobic people, Tris!" My voice is strained and higher than usual.

"Okay, okay." She wraps her fingers around my palm and pulls it to her chest, and my thumb rubs across her collarbone. "Feel my heartbeat. Can you feel it?"  
"Yes."

"Feel how steady it is?"

"It's fast." I feel her body slightly pulsing under my hand- and it is- way faster than it should be… unless she's claustrophobic too, but somehow I really doubt it.

"Yes, well, that has nothing to do with the box." She pauses. "Every time you feel me breathe, you breathe. Focus on that."

"Okay." I close my eyes and wait for her lungs to expand. When they do, I try to tell myself to breathe calmly. I feel like I've been here for days.

"Why don't you tell me where this fear comes from. Maybe talking about it will help us…somehow."

"Um…okay." I wait for her next guiding breath before I continue. "This one is from my fantastic childhood. Childhood punishments. The tiny closet upstairs."

"My mother kept our winter coats in our closet." She tries to change the subject, nice of her, but I'm still in a lot of pain.

"I don't…" my voice catches at a gasp. "I don't really want to talk about it anymore."

"Okay. Then… I can talk. Ask me something."

There's been so much I want to ask her, but my mind's so skitter, I can only think of one question- but I want to know the answer, but I hope I can guess. "Okay." I laugh. "Why is your heart racing, Tris?"

"Well, I…" her voice trails off. "I barely know you." The sentence sound awkward. "I barely know you and I'm crammed up against you in a box, Four, what do you think?"

Good enough. I was hoping it was because I was holding her like this. I spread my fingers out over her sides. "If we were in your fear landscape," I say, "would I be in it?"  
"I'm not afraid of you."

"Of course you're not. But that's not what I meant." I laugh again, my stomach moving against her back. I hear the walls break and we are released from the shrinking prison. I sigh, and we untangle from each other. I feel the absence of her as a chill on my stomach. I want to hold her again and I smile at her, because I know she wants to be held, despite what she said.

"Maybe you were cut out for Candor," I say, "because you're a terrible liar."

"I think my aptitude test ruled that one out pretty well."

I shake my head. "The aptitude test tells you nothing."

She looks at me suspiciously. "What are you trying to tell me? Your test isn't the reason you ended up in Dauntless?" She knows I'm Divergent- how? I didn't think I was that easy to read. Even if she doesn't know, I can tell she suspects it.

"Not exactly, no," I say. "I…" I almost tell her I'm Divergent, but I look over my shoulder to see the woman. She points a gun at us, and a table with a gun and a bullet materializes next to me.

"You have to kill her," she says quietly.

"Every single time." I hate this part. Life is so delicate. I must destroy hers.

"She isn't real."

"She looks real." My teeth clamp on my bottom lip, and I stare at the woman. "It feels real."

"If she was real, she would have killed you already."  
"It's okay." I nod, looking at the bullet, gleaming in the light. "I'll just…do it. This one's not…not so bad. Not as much panic involved." But, this one is way more emotionally involved than the last two. I pick up the gun, positioning the bullet, just as I do, every time. I hold the gun out, and hear Amar's voice. _"Close your eyes, breath in like me, open your eyes…"_

I let the air out and pull the trigger.

We both watch her unmoving body folded on itself. Tris wraps a hand around my arm.

"C'mon," she says. "Let's go. Keep moving." She has to tug my arm twice to break my gaze. I turn and don't look back.

"Here we go," I whisper. The last is the worst. Fear shudders through me, my eyes clamp open wide. My father's figure moves in the shadows. He walks out into the light- it's hard to believe he's not actually here. My father, Marcus, has always looked the same- when I was three, the first time he hit me, when I was sixteen-when I left, and now- every time I get to this moment.

"Marcus," the name barely slips off her tongue. She recognizes my father- an Abnegation leader.

"Here's the part," I say, voice wavering, "where you figure out my name."  
"Is he…" she looks to Marcus, who comes towards us, to me, as I can't help but cower back in fear. "Tobias." She now knows my name. If I wasn't so scared, it would be nice to hear it again. Marucs looks at me, and gets ready to hit me with that hard, leather belt- I think I can still see a trace of my dried blood at the edge.

"This is for your own good," my simulation figure says, and the line bounces off the walls so we hear it over and over. Eleven other Marcuses join the one, and their eyes turn to black circles to where their eyes should be. Belts move along the floor like snakes and my shoulders slump- ready for the impact of the belt. I put my arms up over my face, clench my teeth, and tell myself it won't be so bad.

I open my eyes when I don't feel the whip of a belt- even though I hear the noise. Tris stands in front of me, wincing, the belt curled around her wrist. She pulls the belt from Marcus's hand. She undoes the curling belt and hits Marcus in the shoulder. Marcus yells and comes at her, arms out- claws protruding where fingernails should be. I don't feel fear of Marcus anymore, I am so mad at him for trying to hurt her, I push her behing me, ready to fight Marcus myself.

And then he's gone.

The scene dissolves around us and its just Tris and I in the empty fear landscape room.

"That's it?" she asks. "Thos were your worst fears? Why do you only have four…" I give her a minute. "Oh." She looks at me, but I can barely hear her. I can barely breathe- it's like I've forgotten how to pull in air. "That's why they call you-" But I just look at her, shocked. She helped me. More than she could know. She fought Marcus.

I curl my fingers around her elbow and pull her in against me, still dazed. I kiss her cheek and crush he in an embrace, and breath deeply, my nose touching at the curve connecting her neck and shoulder.

She moves her arms around me, fingers connecting around my back. "Hey," she says, soothing. "We got through it."

I pull my head up and run my fingers through her hair. Soft. Silky. Wavy. Comforting.

"You got me through it," I say after a moment.

"Well." She looks up and I notice for the first time her eyes have a hint of gray in the blue. "It's easy to be brave when they're not my fears."

I feel the longing deep in my stomach again.

I grab her hand and weave my fingers into hers. "Come on," I say, nodding my head toward the exit. "I have something to show you."

**Okay, so I know that this is definitely a chapter that I usually look forward to when I read other's work from Tobias' POV, so I hope I did it justice! Please review! Thanks for reading!**


	17. Chapter 17

**17**

I walk with her to the Pit, skimming one of my fingers against her palm.

"So…" she says. "Four fears."

"Four fears then; four fears now," I say, and I feel my heart still struggling to calm down. "They haven't changed, so I keep going in there, but…I still haven't made any progress."

"You can't be fearless, remember?" she asks me, echoing me. "Because you still care about things. About your life."

"I know." And I do. She's right.

I guide her over to a ledge that crosses the bottom of the chasm. It's hard to see if you're not looking, and that's one reason I like it. I found this ledge the fifth day I was in the compound, and I come here all the time when I need to get away. I've never seen anyone else here- and I've never shown this place to anyone either.

"You were going to tell me about your aptitude test results," she says.

"Ah." I say, scratching my neck. I've already given away a lot of secrets today. "Does it matter?"

"Yes. I want to know." Her answer is immediate.

"How demanding you are." I smile down at her. I still don't want to tell her I'm Divergent. It could put both of us at risk. I lead her over the rocks, down small ridges. The bottom of the chasm is slippery and rough, but still possible to navigate.

I eventually lead her to a flat dry rock, the same one I come to every time, and I throw my feet out so my legs hang off the cool stone. She positions herself on the rock next to me, and I unlace my fingers from hers. "My result was as expected," I say, after a moment. "Abnegation." I tell myself this isn't a complete lie. Amar was also the one to give me my aptitude test, the one to tell me I was Divergent. The one who input my test results as Abnegation.

"Oh." Her shoulders slump a bit. I know she feel alone. I wish I could tell her she's not. That I'm Divergent, and so is Uriah, and so was Amar. But I can't. I have to let her feel this way. At least for the time being. "But you chose Dauntless anyway?"

"Out of necessity."

"Why did I have to leave?"

I look away from her for a second.

"You had to get away from your dad," she says. "Is that why you don't want to be a Dauntless leader? Because you might have to see him again?"

I shrug a shoulder. "That, and I've always felt that I don't quite belong among the Dauntless. Not the way they are now, anyway." I relax my back a little. I don't usually talk to people like this- open. But somehow she makes it feel easy- natural.

"But you're… incredible," she says this, clears her throat, and looks up at me. I must admit I didn't see that coming at first. "I man, by Dauntless standards. Four fears is unheard of. How could you not belong here?"

I shrug both shoulders this time. I'm not proud. I almost laughed when people congratulated me on only having four fears. I've always thought of my fears this way: two of the most common fears in the universe, a sissy fear, and a childish fear- scared of my dad? An now, I'm older and stronger- but I feel like I'll never overcome it.

"I have a theory that selflessness and bravery aren't all that different. All your life you've been training to forget yourself, so when you're in danger, it becomes your first instinct. I could belong in Abnegation just as easily." I've never told anyone that either.

She looks almost guilty for a minute. "Yeah, well," she says, "I left Abnegation because I wasn't selfless enough, no matter how hard I tried."

:That's not entirely true." I smile- she doesn't know she's so strong, she doesn't know she's so smart, she doesn't know she's so selfless. I think not thinking your selfless and trying to be selfless is one of the highest forms of selflessness. "That girl who let someone throw knives at her to spare a friend, who hit my dad with a belt to protect me- that selfless girl, that's not you?"

The corners of her lips curve down. "You've been paying attention, haven't you?"  
"I like to observe people." Well, I like to observe her, so it's partly true, and I'm curious. I just happen to be very curious about her.

"Maybe you were cut out for Candor, Four, because you're a terrible liar."

A smile tugs at my mouth, but I don't respond yet. I move my hands to my sides, lining up one of my hands with one of hers. My fingers are cold on top of hers, and my heart skips a beat.

"Fine." I lean in close to her, and I realize I don't mind telling her. I realize I was wrong before. I will say it again, and I plan to- many times. I skim her face with my eyes, studying each feature, engraving it in my mind. "I watched you because I liked you." I now focus on her eyes, even though their imprint has been firmly in my mind for weeks. "And don't call me 'Four' okay? It's nice to hear my name again.

Her cheeks blush and I know she doesn't want to say it back, but that's okay. She pauses then and says shyly, "But you're older than I am…_Tobias_."

I stifle a laugh and turn it into a smile. "Yes, that whopping two-year gap really is _insurmountable, _isn't it ?"

She seems a little shocked I like her back, which I think is a little cute, but she starts to babble a little, and I hold back another laugh. "I'm not trying to be self- depreciating," she says, "I just don't get it. I'm younger. I'm not pretty. I-"

My laugh cuts her off now- the laugh I couldn't contain. I kiss her temple, and I smell a whiff of her hair- coconut and fresh air. "Don't pretend," she says. "you know I'm not. I'm not ugly, but I am certainly not pretty."

I know she's not, she's right- but I don't care about that. "Fine. You're not pretty. So?" I kiss her cheek, and I didn't realize until now how much I longed for that. "I like how you look. You're deadly smart. You're brave. And even though you found out about Marcus…" I become a little more serious. "You aren't giving me that look. Like I'm a kicked puppy or something." I definitely appreciate that. I don't want sympathy for my past.

"Well," she says. "You're not."

I look into her eyes. I brush her jawline with my fingertips and pull my lips to hers briefly- almost barely a touch. I smile a bit because she just looks back at me eyes wide, but smiling a little herself- though I realize she thinks she doesn't really know what to do. I lean in again, kissing her longer- happiness spreading through my body.

I pull away again, take her face in my hands, and pull her in again, kissing her harder, almost wishing I could tell her, 'yes that's fine," because she seems very unsure about it all. She puts an arm around me, fingers moving along my neck to my hair.

After a few minutes, I take her hand, smiling, to lead her back out of the chasm.

**I hope you liked it! Please review! Thanks so much for following this story!**


	18. Chapter 18

**18**

I wake up, a smile on my face. I can't wait to see Tris, but I know that it is still important that Eric doesn't find out about us. Before breakfast, I get a haircut- Abnegation short.

I walk into the dining hall and wrestle with my eyes not to search for Tris. I see Zeke, and walk straight over to where he and Shauna sit alone. Once I sit down, I look over at her, but break the gaze quickly to look at Zeke. I didn't smile because I'm sure Eric's around here somewhere, but I had to look at her.

"Mmhmm," Shauna says, smiling. "What did you say to her, you look much too happy." I didn't realize the smile had sprung back on my face. I look down at my hands that are clasped in my lap.

"Well…" Zeke looks at me expectantly.

I press my lips together, because I don't plan on saying anything until they drop the matter.

"You kissed her?" Shauna smiles and lightly claps, excitedly and happily.

I look up at her. How did she do that…again?  
"Honey. I can read body language like a book- and you pressed your lips together." I feel the blush rushing into my cheeks. "Zeke, our little Four is growing up!" She raises her eyebrows up and down, smiling, and Zeke slaps me on the shoulder.

I bite my lip and reach for a muffin.

"Don't worry, Hon," Shauna says, "our lips are sealed." She smiles a little extra when she says the word lips.

I don't really want them to know, but at least I know I can trust them not to tell anyone- especially.

We stand outside the fear landscape room, but I let Lauren do the talking. She sets her hands on her hips and spreads her feet firmly shoulder- width apart. She looks strong compared to the initiates, who are folded in on themselves- arms clenched behind their backs, bent over a bit, heads lowered, shoulders slumped, knees locked.

"Two years ago," Lauren says, "I was afraid of spiders, suffocation, walls that inch slowly inward and trap you between them, getting thrown out of Dauntless, uncontrollable bleeding, getting run over by a train, my father's death, public humiliation, and kidnapping by men without faces." She drops her hands into her pockets. "Most of you will have anywhere from ten to fifteen fears in your fear landscapes. That is the average number," she says.

"What's the lowest number someone has gotten?" Lynn asks, curiosity sparkling in her eyes.

"In recent years," says Lauren, "four." I don't look at Tris, but I know she's looking at me. "You will not find out your number today," she continues. "The simulation is set to my fears instead of your own." I'm glad she volunteered for them to go through her landscape. "For the purposes of this exercise, though, each of you will face _one _of my fears, to get a sense for how the simulation works." She picks at random, saying "kidnapping," to Tris.

This won't be good. She's been through this- for real before. But she's strong. Strong enough for this. Right?

I watch each initiate go through their obstacle, but I'm not hooked up to the computer like Lauren is, so I can only see how the initiates are reacting to the landscape.

I watch as Tris's eyes glaze over and she heads into the scene, and can no longer see the real life that surrounds her. Her first scream is muffles, and more screams become louder, and louder. My brain feels fuzzy. She thinks this is real- she's reliving her worst memory. She's stronger than this- why can't she just calm down? She's past the point of no return now. Those are the cries of someone about to die. I have to stop the simulation, because I can't let the pain continue for her, but I have to make it seem like it's only because I'm her instructor. No one can know.

"Stop," I say loudly.

The simulation stops for her, and she falls onto her knees, covering her face with her hands. I walk over to her with long strides and pull her off the ground roughly. I hope she will understand this has to be a performance.

"What the heck was that, Stiff?" I ask her.

"I…" she continues to shake. "I didn't-" her eyes plead for help.

"Get yourself together! This is pathetic." It would be- if it didn't happen to her a few days ago.

Something turns hard in her eyes, and she hits me- really hard, and my face feels a prickling and tingling. We stare at each other. She thinks I actually mean all of this- for real.

"Shut up," she says, pulling her arm from me and stalking out. I want to follow her- but I can't.

**Heyyyyy! So thanks so much for all your reviews! Please keep reviewing I'd love your feedback!**


	19. Chapter 19

**19**

I pant, out of breath, and bend over, putting my hands on my knees. I've searched everywhere. _Everywhere- _three times for Tris. I've come to two conclusions: either she has disappeared into thin air, or is an excellent hider. I found that I can run through the entire Dauntless compound and still search for someone in fifteen minutes. I feel something hollow in my stomach. What happened to her?

I decide to walk a lap around the compound. As I'm walking, I look up and see Tris through the layers of glass. And Eric- hand grasping her arm, questioning her, yelling at her. She must have left the compound- alone. That's against the rules, I start to make my way up to her.

I open the door and walk in, forcing my breath back to it's regular pace. "What are you doing?" I ask.

"Leave the room," Eric says angrily. Tris just stares wide-eyed.

"No," I say firmly. "She's just a foolish girl. There's no need to drag her here and interrogate her." I'm performing again, but Tris has to know that- and not Eric.

"Just a foolish girl." Eric allows a snort to escape him. "If she were just a foolish girl, she wouldn't be ranked first, now would she?"  
I don't know how to respond- because what he says is true. I pinch the top of my nose to allow more air to come in- and look at Tris. I try to tell Tris I'm faking by just looking at her. I'm trying to tell her to choose what she says wisely- to be careful. I think she kinda gets it because she joins in on my act."

"I… I was just embarrassed and didn't know what to do." She shoves her hands down into her pockets and studies her shoes. Are those tears? She looks up at Eric, looking wounded and sniffs pathetically. She's a natural. "I tried to…and…" She shakes her head, and blond locks wave around her. She's brilliant.

"You tried to what?" Eric asks her.

"Kiss me," I say, filling in the blank. "And I rejected her, and she went running off like a five-year-old. There's really nothing to blame her for but stupidity." That ought to do it.

We watch him carefully for a response.

He looks between the two of us and laughs hysterically. "Isn't he a little too old for you, Tris?" he asks her, grinning evilly. Now I want to hit him. _Two years. _Not that much. Maybe it's just because I look older than I am, and she looks younger than she is. I push the thoughts away and focus on Eric.

She wipes a tear from her cheek- it looks so real I wonder if she's not pretending now. "Can I go now?"

"Fine," Eric says, "but you are not allowed to leave the compound without supervision again, you hear me?" He turns to me, eyes mocking. "An _you_… had better make sure none of the transfers leave this compound again. And that none of the others try to kiss you."

I roll my eyes. Eric is just exhausting me now. "Fine."

Tris leaves the room.

Eric smiles. I figured this wasn't over.

"You got the Stiff attracted to you? Congratulations, Four, you got a real woman!" I clench my fists in my pockets and keep my mouth shut. Eric chuckles to himself as he exits through the door, opposite the one Tris went through.

I stay in the room for a while, rehearsing in my mind what to say to Tris, how to ask for her forgiveness, to tell her I'm trying to_ help _her and not _hurt_ her. Nothing comes to mind that sounds right and I leave the room. As soon as I open the door, I see Tris, arms wrapped around her knees so she's curled up in a ball. Her head is tilted back, with her eyes closed, and the blue light glimmers off her eyelids. I walk over to her. She stands up, crosses her arms- a defensive gesture. I don't even know where to start and my tongue feels like sandpaper.

"What?" she asks.

"Are you all right?" the feeling floods out in my words, and my eyebrows scrunch in concern. She looks like something has crumbled inside of her. I move my fingertips to her face, and she hits them off.

"Well," she says, "first I got reamed out in front of everyone, and then I had to chat with the woman who's trying to destroy my old faction, and then Eric almost tossed my friends out of Dauntless, so yeah, it's shaping up to be a pretty great day, _Four._"

I shake my head and anger builds in me- I look out the window, but they don't have any solutions. But she's not done.

"Why do you care anyway?" she asks. "You can be either cruel instructor or concerned boyfriend." She straightens up a bit. "You can't play both parts at the same time."

"I am not cruel." I look at her. She's smart. Why can't she get this- it makes me so mad. "I was protecting you this morning. How do you think Peter and his idiot friends would have reacted if they discovered that you and I were…" I break off before I say 'together.' Because, officially, we're not. But I haven't wanted anything this much. I sigh, and the anger leaves with the wind of my breath. "You would never win. They would always call your ranking a result of my favoritism rather than your skill." Although I do favor her, I have not altered her rankings because of that. Her rankings are all her.

"You didn't have to insult me to prove something to them," she says after a few silent moments.

"And you didn't have to run off to your brother just because I hurt you," I say. My fingers sway across the back of my neck. "Besides- it worked, didn't it?"

"At my expense."

"I didn't thin kit would affect you this way." I really didn't. She's strong, but I must remember she is not invincible. I look at my shoes and shrug my shoulders, sliding against the cold wall and walk closer to her. "Sometime I forget that I can hurt you. That you are capable of being hurt."

I stand close to her, and she rocks forward from her heels up to her tiptoes and I bend to kiss her.

"You're brilliant, you know that?" she asks, her head shaking a few times. "you always know exactly what to do."

Relief rushes through my body. "Only because I've been thinking about this for a long time." I say, and I have every night as I fall asleep- different covers, hiding places, ways to suppress suspicion. I sneak in another kiss. "How I would handle it, if you and I…" I pull back and a grin spreads across my face as something registers in my brain. "Did I hear you call me your boyfriend, Tris?"

"Not exactly," she shrugs. "Why? Do you want me to?"  
_Stay cool, _I tell myself. I cup her neck in my hands and tilt her head back so I can press my forehead to hers more easily. I close my eyes and breathe quickly. She's made me a little nervous before, but never like this. I feel my muscles get stronger than go limp over and over.

"Yes," I say after a moment. My smile falls a bit. "You think we convinced him you're just a silly girl?"

"I hope so," she says. "Sometimes it helps to be small. I'm not sure I convinced the Erudite, though."

I frown a bit- I almost forgot about that. She needs to know what's been going on- even though I don't know everything about it yet. "There's something I need to tell you."

"What is it?"

"Not now." I look all around. "Meet me back here at eleven thirty. Don't tell anywhere where you're going."

She nods, and I turn, leaving and not looking back because I don't want her to see the stupid grin that won't leave my face. I walk a little farther and Will comes out of a hallway, smiling- the exact way I am- and he slams into me- hard.

"Ouch," I say quickly.

"Oh, sorry, Four," he says, practically laughing with giddiness. He just looks at me.

Will looks around. "Uh- Four?" Umm…" he clears his throat. "Can I…tell you something."

Oh boy.

"Sure."

He smiles. "It's just I don't really know who to talk to, but I have to tell someone!" His green eyes light up brighter. "I kissed Christina. I went for it- just like you said- and it worked- then she kissed me!"

I smile down at him, and pat him on the shoulder, hoping that's the right gesture.

"That's great, Will."

"I know!" I think he's going to explode or something. I smile a little broader, and the smile is real, I can feel it showing into my eyes. All of a sudden, I feel like if I had a little brother, he'd be a lot like Will.

"Well, I gotta go!" he says excitedly. "Thanks, Four!"

"Anytime," I say, laughing, watching as he runs off, head bobbing happily.

I wait in the dark hallway tapping my fingers against the cold, clammy wall. My mind buzzes with nervousness and excitement as I see her eyes peek around the corner first, and then she walks towards me. It's still risky to talk, so I take her hand and guide her quickly to the train tracks.

The train comes soon after we arrive and we both break into a jog. I grab onto the door after a few paces, and swing in through the opening. Tris is still running after the train, and I extend my hand to her. When she grabs on, I pull, forgetting that she weighs less than the other initiates I help on and off trains. She comes in too fast and her body slams into mine, but it doesn't hurt. I use the closeness to move my fingers down her arms and I cup my hands under her elbows to steady her.

"What is it you need to tell me?" she yells so I can hear her over the roaring wind and train. But it's something I need to show her, too.

"Not yet," I say.

A smile tugs at my mouth and I move to sit down, and I guide her into a spot near me. A few of her hairs land softly against my face as I cover her cheeks with my hands, moving fingers in place behind her ears, and fit her lips with mine. The faint scent of peaches rests on her lips, and her face is cold under my hands.

The train shrieks as the breaks slow the momentum. I press my fingers lightly against her, moving her head in place so I can kiss the hollow curve beneath her jawbone. The train shifts beneath and all around us, throwing her body over mine. By reflex, her hand shoots out to keep her from falling, and it lands on my hip. I pause a moment for her reaction- which is to swing her leg over me so she's on my lap. _Thank you, train. _She shakes a bit nervously and kisses me. I sit up a bit, and rest my hands on her shoulders. I allow my fingers to lead my hands as they move down her back. I move again, to unzip her jacket a little, but stop after a few inches. I don't want her to feel too violated. She shakes more.

I break away from a kiss to look at her collarbone. I run my fingers over the tree delicate birds resting on the curve of her bone. I smile.

"Birds," I say. "Are they crows? I keep forgetting to ask."

She smile back. "Ravens. One for each member of my family," she says, looking down at the birds briefly. "You like them?"

They're beautiful, but I don't say anything. I wrap my fingers around her waist and bring her in to me, and kiss each bird. I feel the train slow, and I wish I could pause time, but I can't. I touch her face lightly.

"I hate to say this," I say, "but we have to get up now."

She nods and her bright eyes flutter open.

We help each other up and I pull her close to me next to the door.

I point at a bunch of buildings growing on the horizon line. The buildings are a glowing beacon, though they are not supposed to have their lights on like this. "Apparently the city ordinances don't mean anything to them," I say, "Because their lights will be on all night."

"No one else has noticed?" she asks.

"I'm sure they have, but they haven't done anything to stop it. It may be because they don't want to cause a problem over something so small." I try to shrug it off, but I think there's something more to this- more than just a bunch of bookworms reading at night- they need the light for something. "But it makes me wonder what the Erudite are doing that requires night light."

I turn my body to hers, back supported by the wall.

"Two things you should know about me. The first is that I am deeply suspicious of people in general." I say. "It is my nature to expect the worst of them. And the second is that I am unexpectedly good with computers." I realize that always seeing the bad probably isn't a good attribute, but I figure that's better than only seeing the good and being way too trusting. Being too trusting is something I see as a weakness- something that opens you to attack and will probably end up hurting you. I'm not trying to brag about my computer skills, either, but I'm telling her the truth. I always though I was good with them because I think a lot like they work- analyzing constantly; several things always processing at once. I take a deep breath and continue. "A few weeks ago, before training started, I was at work and found a way into the Dauntless secure files. Apparently we are not as skilled as the Erudite are at security," I say, "and what I discovered was what looked like war plans. Thinly veiled commands, supply lists, maps. Things like that. And those files were sent by Erudite."

"War?" she asks this, but doesn't seem very surprised. "War on Abnegation?" she looks up at me. Her eyes still don't reflect surprise, but fear- I know who her father is.

I grab her hands, weaving her fingers in mine, and say carefully, "The faction that controls the government. Yes." Her eyes drop to the floor, her shoulder slump, her face falls- everything that would suggest a piece of her being crushed. "All those reports are supposed to stir up dissention against Abnegation," I say, looking back out to the bright spot that is Erudite. "Evidently the Erudite now want to speed up the process. I have no idea what to do about it… or what could even be done." She's the first person I've been able to tell all this to, and it is a burden lifted. I had rehearsed this conversation to several others before, but if Erudite had been sending plans to our leaders- who can I trust? Who can't I trust?  
"But," she says, "why would Erudite team up with Dauntless?"

I give her a moment to figure that out. As soon as she realizes it, she looks up to me, eyes open wide and they look glassy in the dark night.

"They're going to use us," she says. Yes, because they need an army- and who would be better than a whole faction of trained fighters and fear- facers?

"I wonder," I say, "how they plan to get us to fight." I've actually been thinking about this a lot. Dauntless are easily rallied, excited, ready to fight, but not stupid.

Hair whips across her face and she looks out to the light. "I don't know."

I go to bed, head full of questions.

**Sooooo I hope I lived up to expectations! Please review! Thanks! :)**


	20. Chapter 20

**20**

It's Dauntless's initiation ceremony today, and the Pit has erupted into craziness. I walk through carefully, dodging people left and right. I make my way up to the fear landscape room- where the initiates will go through their fear landscapes before becoming members.

I make my way up to the glass building, and people begin to file in to watch the initiates go through their fear landscapes. We won't be able to see their fears, but we will be able to see the reactions. I stand at one of the entrances to the landscape, and Marlene is going through when I see Tris's blond locks pass practically right under my nose. I hope that she's not nervous. Marlene screams on the screen. My eyes shift to the front of the room, where Eric, Max, and other leaders watch her by the wires.

I walk over to my group of initiates as Marlene finishes her fear landscape. "Transfers, the order in which you go through the final test was taken from your rankings as they now stand," I say. "So Drew will go first, and Tris will go last."  
When Drew is put under, Tris and I look at each other quickly. Her body is tense, but I know she will be fine, because she is mentally ready. I can tell by the look in her eyes.

The initiates go through- Drew, Molly, Christina, Will, Peter. They all do pretty well.

"Tris." Eric calls her name. She walks to the front of the room and Eric injects her. I can't hear, but I think he asked her if she's ready.

**Sorry it's such a short chapter! Thanks for keeping up with the story!**


	21. Chapter 21

**21**

Tris walks into the fear landscape room, and my eyes shift from the closing door to the screen. She bobs up and down, waiting for the serum to take affect. She looks around, crouches, and starts what I believe is shooting- over and over again. The way she pauses shows she's already moved through the first simulation. She stands now, and begins to pound and kick, but her limbs stop by a force I cannot see. She looks down, and fear fills her eyes. I recognize these movements. She's in the glass box about to be drowned again. She pounds more, and she realizes it's in her mind. She closes her eyes and pounds. I see relief flood her eyes as she watches water spill out of the box.

The next simulation, I can't imagine what she's going through. I watch her intently, but her body is just thrown side to side, pulled by something. She grits her teeth as she does a full flip- limbs flailing. I hear her scream- but it's not fear- it's more angry or frustrated.

I ball my hands into fists as I realize she's past her third fear. She stands still as a statue. She stands so still it's like she can't move- she _can't_ move. She looks down, and her eyes reach- as if she's high up. But she's not scared of heights- I know that for sure. I can't tell what she's saying, but I think she's having a conversation with someone, and her limbs loosen after a moment, so I think she's moved on.

Her hands skid her shirt and she looks around a bit. "Tris," I whisper as her eyes grow wide and her body goes still- a deer in headlights, as the old saying goes. I see her motions and she's shooting again. I think she's finally done- but she screams, and crouches down. "C'mon, Tris," I say quietly. She makes a few more motions, and then smiles. She's escaped that one, and I wonder how many more fears she has to face.

She stands in place, looks behind her, looks up. I can't tall what's going on. Her jacket falls off her arms. She shivers, pushes something, then presses her palms to her forehead. The leaders observing her begin laughing, Eric in particular. I scrunch my eyebrows- one of her fears is…funny? She says something I can't hear.

She starts laughing too, now, a hand clamped over her mouth.

Her body goes rigid as she's instantly plummeted into the next simulation. She continues to stand wide- eyed.

Until the lights come one.

Seven fears? I if I counted correctly. "Seven," Max looks back from his place and says to me.

I smile. That was impressive.

**So, I hope that was okay, it was kind of hard to write without him being able to see it! Please review! Thanks!**


	22. Chapter 22

**22**

She is shaking and it looks like her knees have turned to liquid. She rests on her knees and wraps herself into a hug. I file into the room with a few of the leaders and smile at her.

"Congratulations, Tris," says Eric. "You have successfully completed your final evaluation."

Her mouth waves but it's not exactly a smile.

"Thanks," she says.

"There is one more thing before you can go and get ready for the welcoming banquet," he says. He waves a woman, Sarah, towards him. She gives him a box, and he takes out a syringe. "At least you aren't afraid of needles," he says. "This will inject you with a tracking device that will be activated only if you are reported missing. Just a precaution."

"How often do people go missing?" she asks.

"Not often." Eric looks at the syringe, proud for something. "This is a new development, courtesy of the Erudite. We have been injecting every Dauntless throughout the day, and I assume all other factions will comply as soon as possible."

He's right he came up behind me this morning and injected me without morning. I hit him in the stomach, but he just laughed.

Tris looks worried now, hesitant, but she doesn't stop him. "All right." She says, but her voice doesn't exactly sound normal. He injects her and she acts as if she didn't feel it.

"The banquet is in two hours," Eric says now. "Your ranking among the other initiates, Dauntless-born included, will be announced then. Good luck." He seems almost pleasant as they leave the room, but I hang around so I can be with Tris.

I can't talk to her here, so I head to the door, I nod my head and wave my hand so she knows to follow me. Once we pass through the majority of the crowd, I smile at her.

"I heard a rumor that you only had seven obstacles to face," I say. "Practically unheard of."

"You…you weren't watching the simulation?"

"Only the screens. The Dauntless leaders are the only ones who see the whole thing," I say. "They seemed impressed."

"Well, seven fears isn't as impressive as four," she says, "but it will suffice."

"I would be surprised if you weren't ranked first," I say truthfully. We make our way through the rest of the crowd, and she stays glued to my side while people tell her how great she did.

We are finally able to get into the Pit. She looks up at me a little nervously, but I can't figure out why. Her eyes search mine, "I have a question." She bites her lip before continuing. "How much did they tell you about my fear landscape?"

"Nothing, really. Why?" I reply.

"No reason," she looks down.

Something's wrong. I don't want to leave her like this. I don't want to leave her at all. "Do you have to go back to the dormitory?" I ask her. "Because if you want peace and quiet, you can stay with me until the banquet."

She looks sick.

"What is it?" I ask.

She hesitates a moment. "Let's go," she says quietly.

We walk up to my apartment and I let her in first before slipping off my shoes. The cold of the wood floor leaks through my socks.

"Want some water?" I ask- she looks so pale I don't know what to do to make her feel better.

"No thanks." She inspects her hands as she extends them in front of her.

"You okay?" I ask her, brushing my fingers along her cheek. I spread my hand out across the side of her face, and weave my fingers into her hair. I smile down at her and kiss her slowly, pulling the jacket off of her, and it crumples to the ground. Her body jolts and her eyes look watery, upset, almost embarrassed, as she pushes me away. She covers he eyes with her hands.

"What? What's wrong?" She's so upset, it makes me said.

She shakes her head.

"Don't tell me it's nothing." She's lying now and she rejected me, which makes me mad and hurt- doesn't she trust me? I grab her arm with a bit too much force. "Hey. Look at me."

She moves her hands away to look at me.

"Sometimes I wonder," she says, trying to steady her shaking voice, "what's in it for you. This…whatever it is."

"What's in it for me," I say, echoing her in disbelief. I step back and shake my head. "You're an idiot, Tris." What does she think?- I like her, but she can trust me!

"I am _not _an idiot," she says. "Which is why I know that it's a little weird that, of all the girls you could have chosen, you chose me. So if you're just looking for…um, you know…_that_…"

"What? Sex?" I look at her angrily. "You know, if that was all I wanted, you probably wouldn't be the first person I would go to." Of course, I like her in _that_ way, but it's not the reason I like her. I'm drawn to her as a person- why can't she see how amazing she is! I'm upset because- she think's that all I think about?

She recoils at my comment, and now _I'm_ the idiot- I didn't realize how terrible of an insult that must have sounded to her. She puts her hands on her waist, spreading her fingers across her stomach, and I see tears welling up in the back of her eyes.

She moves her hands, blinks, and looks up at me. "I'm going to leave now," she says, in a quiet and even tone.

"No, Tris," I say. I grab her wrist and pull her back a little too hard again. I take her other wrist, and our arms criss-cross. I can't let her leave thinking of me like this, thinking I'm a jerk. She can't think that's _it_ for me- that's the extent of what I think love is.

"I'm sorry I said that," I say. "What I _meant_ was that you aren't like that. Which I knew when I met you."

"You were an obstacle in my fear landscape." Her lip quivers and her voice shakes. "Did you know that?"

"What?" I recoil, I feel like someone's drained me of air- that someone has punched me too hard. "You're _afraid_ of me?" My stomach churns.

"Not you," she says, still fighting tears. How could I have scared her so badly? is all I can think, though. "Being with you…with anyone. I've never been involved with someone before, and…you're older, and I don't know what your expectations are, and…"

"Tris," I say, voice lowered, "I don't know what delusion you're operating under, but this is all new to me, too." I realize I've never actually told her that I've never had a girlfriend- that I've never dated. Her innocence is so easily reflected, but I guess mine is not.

"Delusion?" She asks. "You mean you haven't…" she raises her eyebrows and her eyes grow a little wider. She thinks I have. I feel awkward as she looks at me. "Oh. _Oh._ I just assumed…" Her voice cuts off. "Um. You know."

"Well, you assumed wrong." I take my eyes off hers, and heat rushes to my face. I feel embarrassed- she though that because she like me, tons of other girls had, too. But they hadn't. Even though I feel embarrassed, I'm still glad- that she's the first girl I've had a relationship with like this before. Something inside me knows she'll be the only one. "You can tell me anything, you know," I say. I hold her face in my hands. "I am kinder than I seemed in training. I promise."

I kiss between her eyebrows, on her nose, the move my mouth to hers, trying to kiss her as gently as I can. My hand slide over her shoulders, and I feel a bandage. I scrunch my eyebrows and pull back to look at her.

"Are you hurt?" I ask, inspecting her bandage.

"No. It's another tattoo. It's healed, I just…wanted to keep it covered up."  
"Can I see?" I realize after what she said, it's probably not the best question, but I'm curious now. She tugs at her sleeve, and her shoulder slides out of the fabric. I look at the bandage on her shoulder. I run my fingers along the fabric and I can feel her eyes watching me. I pull the corner of the bandage, and the rest of the fabric pulls away. I see the symbol of Abnegation, and smile- sometimes I think we really are a _lot_ alike.

"I have the same one." I say, and laugh. "On my back."

"Really? Can I see it?"

I attach the bandage back over her tattoo and pull her shirt back over her shoulder.

I smile mischievously at her. "Are you asking me to undress, Tris?" I ask her.

She laughs a little, but nervously. "Only…partially."

I nod, and the smile falls from my face. I look into her eyes and unzip my sweatshirt, pull it off, and toss it backwards onto a chair. She stares at me, lips slightly parted. I scrunch my eyebrows and pull off my T-shirt. The first thing she sees are the flames on my right side. I look away, and for some reason, I feel very exposed even though I'm not. I mean- she's the one with the fear, right?

"What is it?" she asks.

"I don't invite many people to look at me," I say. "Any people, actually."

"I can't imagine why," she says in a soft tone. "I mean, look at you." I feel flattered, but not much better. She walks around to look at my back. I know she sees the faction symbols stacked on top of one another. Dauntless at the top, Abnegation- those two are bigger. Then, the symbols for Candor, Erudite, and Amity. I know the fact that I have all five probably confuses her.

"I think we've made a mistake," I say in a quiet voice. "We've all started to put down the virtues of the other factions in the process of bolstering our own. I don't want to do that. I want to be brave, and selfless, _and _smart, _and_ kind, _and _honest. I clear my throat. "I continually struggle with kindness."

"No one's perfect," she whispers to me. "It doesn't work that way. One bad thing goes away, and another replaces it."

My skin tingles as her fingers move lightly over my back where the Abnegation symbol rests. "We have to warn them, you know. Soon."

"I know," I say. "We will."

I turn towards her and she stares at the flames on my side, hands slightly suspended, like she's decided against reaching out. Her eyes are wide and she looks lost and confused.

"Is this scaring you, Tris?" I ask.

"No," she says- but her voice is not very convincing- at all. She clears her throat. "Not really. I'm only… afraid of what I want."

"What do you want?" I ask her, and my facial muscles tighten slightly. "Me?"  
She nods in long, slow motions.

I nod to her too, but if she's so scared I never would have told her without her own confession. I've become much more muscular over the past two years so I feel a little more at ease as I take her hands in mine, and push her palms up into the skin over my stomach. I guide her hands up my torso and steer them until they reach around my neck, and I hold her cool fingers there. Her face has turned red and a jolt runs through her.

"Someday," I say, "if you still want me, we can…" I hesitate, and clear my throat, feeling awkward. "We can…"

She smiles up at me and cuts me off with a hug, the side of her face covering my heart.

"Are you afraid of my too, Tobias?"

"Terrified," I say, a smile spreading across my face.

She turns and kisses my neck lightly.

"Maybe you won't be in my fear landscape anymore," she mumbles happily.

I bend my head and kiss her slowly, he hands moving to rest on my chest.

"Then everyone can call you Six." I say.

"Four and Six," she says.

I kiss her again and my arms encircle her waist and we stay there for a good, long time, until we settle on my bed talking, sneaking in kisses, and then taking a nap until we are woken up by a rumble of people outside headed to the banquet.

**So I hope you liked it! Please tell me if you did what you did/didn't like? Thanks for reading! **


	23. Chapter 23

**23**

We walk towards the dining hall, Tris just a step behind me. She's watching my face, I can tell, so I have to constantly look ahead to make sure neither of us run into anyone. I think she's searching my reaction to all this- to her. I have to suppress a smile the whole way there, because I think it's very cute. She's unsure of herself and I don't want her to be, but it's funny to see her trying to read me. No, I've never had a girlfriend, but I _have_ been in Dauntless for two years- I kind of have an idea what couple behavior is, while she's still fresh out of Abnegation. She doesn't move her gaze from my face and I allow the smile on my face now. I wish I could find a way to tell her that she's doing fine with it all without embarrassing her.

When we get to the dining hall, she runs in first and I watch her blond head bobbing and disappearing, then bobbing back up through the crowd of much taller people around her. I wait a minute, then walk in. I walk evenly- no head bobbing, and I don't see many people taller than me, being that I am over six feet. I sit next to Zeke, whose eyes are rolling and swaying. He takes a swig, then hands me a bottle, but I bat it away. I want to be here- completely.

After a few moments, a microphone screeches loudly, hurting everyone's ears. I look over to Eric, who's standing on a table, feet planted firmly, holding the microphone, and tapping it. The Dauntless all around slowly quiet down. Eric clears his throat.

"We aren't big on speeches here. Eloquence is for Erudite," Eric says. The Dauntless laugh. "So I'm going to keep this short. It's a new year, and we have a new pack of initiates. And a slightly smaller pack of new members. We offer them our congratulations.

Dauntless way of congratulating: pounding clenched fists on the tables. Zeke and I smile at each other, then join in.

"We believe in bravery. We believe in action. We believe in freedom from fear and acquiring the skills to force the bad out of our world so that good can prosper and thrive. If you also believe in those things, we welcome you. More noise.

I guess I believe in those things too, but I really prefer the faction manifesto to those comments: We believe in ordinary acts of bravery, in the courage that drives one person to stand up for another. That statement is one reason why I think bravery and selflessness aren't all that different.

"Tomorrow, in their first act as members, our top ten initiates will choose their professions, in the order of how they are ranked," Eric continues. "The rankings, I know, are what everyone is really waiting for. They are determined by a combinations of three scores- the first, from the combat stage of training; the second, from the simulation stage; and the third; from the final examination, the fear landscape. The rankings will appear on the screen behind me."

Presently, the numbers, pictures, and names pop up on the wall behind him. I can't stop the grin from appearing on my face when I see Tris's picture next to the number one slot. I look over to Tris, where she and her friends are smiling, laughing, and hugging. I look back at the screen to see the rest of the names.

1. Tris

2. Uriah

3. Lynn

4. Marlene

5. Peter

6. Will

7. Christina

8. Angela

9. Wayne

10. Reed

11. Molly

12. Drew

Molly and Drew are factionless, and Tris and Uriah- the Divergent- are the top two. I walk towards Tris, and Will and Christina kiss off to the side. I tap Tris on the shoulder and she turns to me, a grin plastered on her face.

"You think giving you a hug would give away too much?" I ask, smiling.

"You know," she says, "I really don't care."

She stands up and goes up on tiptoe to kiss me. I'm surprised, but happy and lean in, moving my hands up to her neck. She's the one to break from the kiss first and she stares up at me- eyes widened and I'm instantly confused. She doesn't look upset or embarrassed, but not happy enough for what's going on around her.

"Tris?" I say.

She shakes her head. "Not now." I just look down at her, eyebrows raised. "Later," she says "Okay?"  
I nod, and know there's something really going on- but I'm not sure what.

**Thanks for all the reviews yall! Please continue and I hope you are liking the story!**


	24. Chapter 24

**24**

I try to find Tris later, but I can't. That night I go to peak in her dorm room, but she's practically unconscious with her head tilted, arm falling off the bed, mouth open, and I don't want to wake her, so I just go back to my apartment.

I'm usually an early riser, but when I walk out of my apartment, I realize all of a sudden- everyone else is too? I watch as a whole group walk in front of me in a _line. _Since when do the Dautless travel in lines- or do anything in an orderly manner? My eyebrows scrunch together and my eyes search rapidly. My movements make me realize the lack of theirs. They look like their sleepwalking. Their eyes have that blank expression someone gets when they're under a simulation. _Under a simulation. I'm Divergent. _This is how they are getting Dauntless to fight- and all the Divergent are about to be revealed because the serum won't work on them- the serum… that they injected _every_ Dauntless with yesterday. I close my eyes, hoping Tris and Uriah are blending in somehow. I take a deep breath, and fall in line behind Zeke. I make my face blank like everyone else's, but I feel like my thoughts are moving at the speed of light.

Eric gave us the serum. Eric was Erudite. Eric _is_ Erudite. He always has been. Erudite want an army that can fight. The Dauntless can fight better than anyone. The Erudite need the Dauntless under their control. Now the Dauntless are under their control. The Abnegation have no capability to fight. Erudite has been verbally attacking Abnegation. Erudite has been sending war plans. Physical attack is required for war. We are going to Abnegation. To destroy Abnegation. To kill. We are going to overthrow the government. No one knows what they are doing. A bunch of innocent people and our government are about to be murdered by a mindless army. And a bunch of innocent people are about to become the murderers. Our world is about to unravel.

I am led to a bunch of tables, where we all take guns and holsters in a rhythmic fashion. We pass only a few people that I can tell are awake- the leaders- that are helping Erudite.

We all head to the train tracks. Instead of jumping on, the train stops for us and when I walk up, I see Tris. She looks like she's under the simulation. I see Uriah in front of me- he's doing well too. I feel relief in my chest. When everyone starts moving, Tris makes her way to me very discreetly. I see her eyes look up to me once we get into the car, as if expecting me to be awake; but I don't risk looking back yet. I told her my result was Abnegation, but I feel a subtle warmth in me- because she somehow knew I was like her.

I wait, and more people pile in. I have to let her know she's not alone. We scuffle into tight rows, and I reach out and weave Tris's fingers into mine, but we keep our faces slack and void of emotion. We hold our posture like the mindless Dauntless that surround us. I rub my thumb in a circle over the back of her hand.

When we hope down from the train, I turn quickly to Tris, and she shifts her eyes to me.

"Run." I say.

"My family." Is her response.

We keep marching with the others and continue to walk. Murders occur to our sides but we keep marching. The Dauntless begin to branch off to do their jobs- their instructions coming from the simulation. Our act won't last long- we don't have instructions. We've stopped moving and I see Eric making his way towards Tris.

"This is insane," an admiring voice comes out of Eric. He pokes Tris's cheek with his finger, but she keeps a blank face.

"They really can't see us? Or hear us?" a woman, Loriana asks.

"Oh, they can see and hear. They just aren't processing what they see and hear the same way," Eric says. "They receive commands from our computers in the transmitters we injected them with…" he presses his finger to where he injected Tris to show Loriana. "…and carry them out seamlessly." Tris stays still.

Eric steps over so he's in front of me now, and leans in a few inches from my face, grinning evilly.

"Now this is a happy sight," he says, sheer happiness radiating from his voice. "The legendary Four. No one's going to remember that I came in second now, are they? No one's going to ask me, 'What was it like to train with the guy who has only _four fears_?" Eric had sixteen fears- he just went through them fast. Eric pulls out his gun and points it to the side of my head- in line with my brain. The cool of the metal sends warning shocks throughout my body, and I get ready to move. "Think anyone would notice if he accidentally got shot?" My mind calms, Amar prepared me well. My pulse quickens- adrenaline, but I focus on when, if I have to- hit the gun. I struggle to keep my breaths normal. Eric's going to kill me? No.

"Go ahead." Loriana says indifferently. "He's nothing now."

"Too bad you didn't just take Max up on his offer, Four. Well, too bad for _you_, anyway," Eric says so only I can hear him- even though he thinks I can't. He clicks the bullet into place in it's chamber.

I get my hand ready to move, but Tris has other plans. She presses the barrel of her own gun to Eric's forehead, and his face shows every sign of shock.

"Get your gun away from his head," she says evenly.

"You won't shoot me," Eric says, recovering his wits.

"Interesting theory," she says back, but I can already see her plan before it happens. She shoots Eric's foot, and he screams girlishly, grabbing his foot. As soon as the gun drops, I shoot Loriana's leg. Tris clenches a hand around my arm, and we take off- guns drawn.

We have to get to the alley, but we are being followed. Tris is fast, but I'm faster. I grab onto her hand, and go faster. She falls, and a gun fires. I turn to see her on the ground- shoulder covered in blood. I find myself wishing they shot my shoulder and not hers. I crouch down by her.

"Run!" she yells, voice shaking.

"No." I say. It's not even a question- I will stay with her. I help her up, and I don't let her support herself- I'm worried she will pass out from loss of blood soon. We are surrounded by the time I look up from her.

"Divergent rebels," Eric says, supporting himself on one foot, still gushing blood and pale. "Surrender your weapons."

**Heyyyy! Sooo if I get enough reviews I might upload the rest of the story tonight? hmmm? probably! so please review! I really do love to have your feedback! thanks! :) :)**


	25. Chapter 25

**25**

We walk towards Abnegation headquarters- a large, two story, gray building. Tris has most of her weight on me, but she keeps moving her feet. I want to help her, I want to stop- but the guns pressed into our back disagree. We enter the building, but keep walking toward a door at the end of a plain hallway. Dauntless guard the door, but we walk in unharmed.

The door leads into an office. I'm sure that every office looks just like this one- gray walls, gray carpet, wooden desk, a computer sitting on top, two chairs facing the desk. Jeanine, leader of the Erudite, sits behind the desk in her own chair, a phone nestled between her shoulder and her ear. She looks very out of place in this office with her blue dress. She types something into the computer.

"Well, send some of them _back_ on the train, then," she says. "It needs to be well guarded, it's the most important part- I'm not talk- I have to go." She closes the phone, her gray eyes are a dark, silvery color- and they are pointed right at Tris.

"Divergent rebels," Rex, a leader, says behind us.

"Yes," I can see that. "She removes her icy blue glasses, and folds them carefully before resting them on the desktop.

"_You_," she says venomously, and points at Tris, "I expected. All the trouble with your aptitude test results made me suspicious from the beginning. But _you…_" she shakes her head, moving her finger and gaze to me.

"You, Tobias- or should I call you Four?- managed to elude me," she says. Her tone is quiet, like she's too used to being in a library. "Everything about you checked out: test results, initiation simulations, everything. But here you are nonetheless." I think about this- I probably wasn't so easy to spot because Amar gave me my aptitude test- and was careful with me from the beginning. Unfortunately, he didn't watch after himself close enough. "Perhaps you could explain to me how that is?" I'm not going to explain to her.

"You're the genius," I say, keeping my tone calm. "Why don't you tell me?"  
She smiles. "My theory is that you really do belong in Abnegation. That you're Divergence is weaker."

Her smile grows.

"Your powers of deductive reasoning are stunning," I say dryly, containing my anger. "Consider me awed."

I see Tris from the corner of my eye, tilting her head a little, looking at me by shifting her eyes more than shifting her head. I keep a steel stare on Jeanine.

"Now that your intelligence has been verified, you might want to get on with killing us." I close my eyes. "You have a lot of Abnegation leaders to murder, after all." I'm trying the only thing I can think of to save us- reverse psychology. Maybe, just maybe, if she thinks we're okay with getting killed, she won't do it.

I open my eyes and see Jeanine standing up. I feel something light about Tris's posture next to me, until she suddenly leans in hard. She's going to pass out soon, I think, and I wonder why she hasn't already. I slide an arm to circle her waist and hold her up with one arm- she's not too heavy.

"Don't be silly. There is no rush," she says, almost happily. "You are both here for an extremely important purpose. You see, it perplexed me that the Divergent were immune to the serum that I developed, so I have been working to remedy that. I thought I might have, with the last batch, but as you know, I was wrong. Luckily I have another batch to test."

"Why bother?" Tris's words sound strong and they must come from that unknown strength I've seen before.

"I have had a question since I began the Dauntless project, and it is this." She sidesteps her desk, skimming the surface with her finger. "Why are most of the Divergent weak- willed, God-fearing nobodies from _Abnegation_, of all factions?"

My mind flips to an image of my apartment- the words 'Fear God Alone' on my wall.

"Weak- willed," I say, an angry laugh escaping. I narrow my eyes are Jeanine. "It requires a _strong_ will to manipulate a simulation, last time I checked. Weak- willed is mind-controlling an army because it's too hard for you to train one yourself." Jeanine is weak, not us.

"I am not a fool," says Jeanine. "A faction of intellectuals is no army. We are tired of being dominated by a bunch of self- righteous idiots who reject wealth and advancement, but we couldn't do this on our own. And your Dauntless leaders were all too happy to oblige me if I guaranteed them a place in our new, improved government."

"Improved," I say with a snort. With people like Jeanine in charge, we'd be lucky if we live.

"Yes, improved," Jeanine says, lifting her pointy nose a bit. "Improved, and working toward a world in which people will live in wealth, comfort, and prosperity."

"At whose expense?" Tris asks the question on my own mind, but her voice is slow and tired. I tighten my grip on her so she's barely standing on her own. "All that wealth…doesn't come from nowhere."

"Currently, the factionless are a drain on our resources," Jeanine says. "As is Abnegation. I am sure that once the remains of you r old faction are absorbed into the Dauntless army, Candor will cooperate and we will finally be able to get on with things."

"Get on with things," I spit out. I can't help my voice from getting louder. "Make no mistake, you will dead before the day is out, you-"

"Perhaps if you could control your temper," Jeanine says, cutting me off- probably a good thing, actually, "you would not be in this situation to begin with, Tobias."

"I'm in this situation because you put me here," I say back quickly. "The second you orchestrated an attack against innocent people." I mentally search myself for a weapon, but they took my gun, and I forgot to put my smaller gun in my pocket like I usually do when I suspect trouble. I wouldn't try to kill anyone unless it came to it, but a strategic bullet to the leg can do good to get someone out of a pinch.

"Innocent people," Jeanine lets out a nosy, annoying laugh. "I find that a little funny, coming from you. I would expect Marcus's son to understand that not all those people are innocent." She sets her pudgy frame on her desk. "Can you tell me honestly that you wouldn't be happy to discover that your father was killed in the attack?"

"No," I say, my teeth clenched. My father deserves to die, for what he did- it was evil, but Jeanine is worse. "But at least his evil didn't involve the widespread manipulation of an entire faction and the systematic murder of every political leader we have."

I stare at her, hoping she can feel the daggers that I wish were pushing into her skin. She clears her throat.

"What I was going to say," she says, "is that soon, dozens of Abnegation and their young children will be my responsibility to keep in order, and it does not bode well for me that a large number of them may be Divergent like yourselves, incapable of being controlled by the simulations." She scuttles a little to the left. "Therefore it was necessary that I develop a new form of simulation to which they are not immune. I have been forced to reassess my own assumptions. That is where you come in." She moves a bit to the right. "You are correct to say that you are strong- willed. I cannot control your will. But there are a few things I can control."

She stops her movements and turns to us. She looks at us like we're a puzzle- something to play with and figure out. Tris's head slumps to the side of my shoulder. I rub my thumb against her side.

"I can control what you see and hear," she continues. "So I created a new serum that will adjust your surroundings to manipulate your will. Thos who refuse to accept our leadership must be closely monitored." In other words- practically chained and forced to cooperate- one way or another. "You will be the first test subject, Tobias. Beatrice however…" She smiles at her. "You are too injured to be of much use to me, so your execution will occur at the conclusion of this meeting."

It feels like something in constricting my throat, my lungs. My stomach spins in circles. My jaw clenches, and tears spring to my eyes. All my muscles tense, and I hold Tris to my side- I won't let her go- I _won't_. I can't let her be killed- they should take me instead. They will have to kill me first. Fear, anger, terror, adrenaline- pumps through my veins instead of the blood that was there a moment ago.

Tris looks up to me with watery eyes, body a little heavier in my arm.

"No," I say, voice wavering. I shake my head. "I would rather die."

"I'm afraid you don't have much of a choice in the matter," Jeanine says. Her voice sounds candy-coated, like I'm a five year old and she's my teacher- brushing off the fact that I want to go outside and it's raining.

I can't let her go, and I have to catch Jeanine off guard. I pull my hand from Tris's side, and gather her face and some of her hair in my hands. I plant a kiss on her, slightly sloppily, but she kisses back. I feel strength entering me.

I pull away and she slumps to the wall. I lunge across the desk and force my fingers around Jeanine's neck. I start to strangle her, hot tears in my eyes. I don't worry about the guns behind me- they won't shoot me, I'm their test subject. I push my rough fingers into soft neck tissue, and I feel the airway bending, I hope it breaks.

Two Dauntless come for me, but I hold and squeeze her neck as long as I can. They pull me to the ground. My stomach presses into the ground, hands force their way against my skull, and my nose rubs carpet. Knees press hard against my shoulders.

I can't see her, but I hear Tris go in for attack now and I struggle to join her, but it's no use. I can't move and I already hear that she's been stopped.

I hear shuffling of feet and see Jeanine's shoes coming towards me. I elbow a Dauntless in the nose, but he hits me with a gun. I feel a prick in my neck, and all goes dark. That is all.

"Let him up," I hear a voice croak.

Someone gets off of me and I stand up. I look all around me. Amar stands next to me, with Shauna and Zeke. Eric is here too. We are all mad at Eric for something.

"Tobias!" Eric says in a girly voice. "Tobias!"

I don't hear anything- I walk over and begin choking Eric with one hand. I don't know why he feels so small. I'm not sure why I'm quite this angry, but I know I want him dead- I squeeze harder.

Zeke pulls me off Eric. I guess it's not his time to die yet, but I still struggle towards Eric.

I hear something about going to a control room. Yes, that is where I need to go.

**Heyyyy! Thanks so much to all of yall still following this story! I hope you like it! Please review!**


	26. Chapter 26

**26**

I am escorted out of the Abnegation headquarters building. I rack my brain for the reason I'm here. I'm Dauntless, so I shouldn't be here. The Dauntless man takes me down the Abnegation streets. All around me, the Abnegation walk in small clumps, steps synchronized perfectly. They do not talk or interact. I find that strange, but I guess I've just gotten used to Dauntless- the yelling and running and exaggerated hand motions we tend to use when we talk.

The two of us stop by a train that is not moving. We wait and are joined by two other Dauntless. I realize I don't recognize any of these three- they must guard the fence and I never see them.

We board the train and it rolls on the track- slow at first, then picking up speed. I recognize the path as the one that will take us to the Dauntless sector of the city.

My legs beneath me seem too steady and strong for being on a train. I feel a vague sense of loss tugging at my stomach, but I couldn't possibly think of what it is. I look over at the three Dauntless, who are talking.

"It is a nice day," a blond man says.

"Yes, it is," a woman replies.

"It is, indeed," a taller man says.

They babble on about the weather, but their expressions look like they are having a deeper conversation. I watch closer, and their lips don't match their words. Strange.

The train begins to slow down and we get off and walk to the glass building that is over the Dauntless compound. The four of us walk through the glass doors and I look down into the Pit below our feet. It is completely empty. It must still be very early in the morning. The taller man turns toward me.

"Go to the control room and monitor," he says. I watch the scruff on his beard, and it slowly rises and sways on his face as he talks. I instantly feel like I want to follow these orders very badly, though I usually don't like orders.

"Okay," I say. I don't remember being told exactly what I'm supposed to do, but I feel like I already have the information, and it will come naturally once I get to the control room, so I don't ask any questions. I turn on my heel and walk off, my steps rhythmic, my arms moving in perfect sync at my sides.

The room is a little dim, as usual, and the wall I face is covered with screens. I sit in the chair in front of them all, and my fingers flit across the keys, guided by the information I know. I still don't know the origin, though.

"Tobias," I hear a girl's voice behind me.

**Hey! So do you like it? Good/bad? Please review! Thanks for sticking with the story!**


	27. Chapter 27

**27**

I turn my head to see the source of the voice. She is blond and small, but something in me tells me she is my enemy. That is confusing. I've never seen her before. I look at her eyes- blue. Those I feel like I recognize- as if they are from a dream. Something scratches at my brain, and a memory tries to surface in my mind. I think, but nothing comes. I raise my gun. Pulling the trigger will send a bullet into this small girl's heart.

"Drop your weapon," I say, eyes shifting to her gun.

"Tobias," she says, "you are going to lose." She is my enemy. She knows my name. She is lying. Her words don't match her lips again.

"Drop your weapon," I say again. "Or I'll fire."

She bends, but does not put the gun down.

"Drop your weapon!" I yell at her.

"No," she says. Her mouth moves different again.

She sprints at me, and wraps small, delicate fingers around my wrist. I feel a memory, but push it away and pull the trigger. She ducks and kicks me in the ribs, and twists my wrist. My fingers involuntarily drop the gun and it clatters to the floor.

She pounces for the gun, but I grab her around her waist, and pull her to the side. She looks up at me, and I feel a tug in my stomach. I punch her in the jaw. She pulls away and kicks the gun from me. She tries to kick my stomach.

My fingers wrap around her foot and I pull. She falls to the floor with a loud thud and grimaces. She looks up at me in pain, and I feel a pang of guilt in my stomach. Why? This is so stupid. I don't know this girl. I go to kick her, and she rolls, trying to get the gun.

I don't let her get that far. I grab her hair and steer her away forcefully. Her hair is soft and silky- once again…familiar. She tries to grab my wrist, but I plunge her forehead into a wall.

"Tobias," she says. I feel something in me- like a melty feeling- sweet and slow. My wrist lets a little tension out. She spins and kicks my leg. I let go of her hair without remembering to do so, and my hands fly down to my leg. She grabs the gun, and even though she's on the floor, she flips to her back. The barrel stares at me.

"Tobias," she says, but I don't hear the rest. I walk toward her, fast- long strides. I'm going to kill her- I'll do it fast. I realize she can't shoot me. Something in her won't allow it.

She stands up.

"Tobias, please." Tears flow down over her cheeks now. I continue towards her. She looks small, innocent, vulnerable. But she is my enemy. "Please. See me." The barrel shakes in her hands. "Please see me, Tobias, please!" I am close to her now. By the time I get to her, she does something very peculiar. She turns the gun and gives it to me. I was going to take it anyways, and I press the barrel to her forehead. Her hand reaches out and rests lightly on my chest. I click the bullet in place, and look down at her shaking palm- right over my heart. I stare back at her.

See her? Her words matched perfectly to her lips.

Her lips…

I feel the rush of water spraying on my feet, I feel a train rumble beneath my body, I feel cool hands wrapping around the warm skin on my back- eyelashes fluttering as a head rests above the flames that cover my right side. I feel a prickle in my stomach.

**Hmmmm hmm hmmmm! Sooooo? Please tell me what you think!**


	28. Chapter 28

**28**

Her eyes lock to mine, and her features become more and more familiar. I don't want to shoot this girl.

"Tobias," she says. "It's me."

She steps right into me, wrapping me in a hug. My body tenses as I absorb the hug and I feel like I've felt this before, but I want her off. She's my enemy- right?

My fingers wrap tightly around her shoulders, and she yelps. I look at her again and memories flood into my mind. I know her. She hit the net first. She came from Abnegation. She almost died. _I saved her._ She kissed me in the chasm. _I_ was in her fear landscape.

"Tris," I say. I kiss her and pick her up easily. I hold her body against mine, my hands grabbing at her back. I can't believe I almost lost her. That I almost killed her. I hold her for a moment, keeping my arms folded around her.

I put her down carefully and look at her in disbelief. I run my fingers lightly over her every feature until I've touched her whole face.

I stop myself from crying out- tears of sadness, relief, agony, happiness- all mix and well up in my eyes. Her voice brought me back. What if it hadn't?  
She hugs me again and cries, her face pressed into my shoulder. I can tell that they are both relief and pain and I remember her shoulder and the shot that hit it- how I just beat her up. Her legs go limp under her, but I don't care, and I hold her. She was my strength so now I can be hers.

"How did you do it?" she asks.

"I don't know," I say. "I just heard your voice."

She stays against me for a bit before pulling away. She wipes her tears and looks at the screens. I stand in awe. I look at the computer. How could something like a tiny computer control a whole mindless army? Then it occurs to me.

"Was _I _running the simulation?" I ask her- but I think I know the answer.

"I don't know if you were running it so much as monitoring it," she says. "It's already complete. I have no idea how, but Jeanine made it so it could work on its own.  
I shake my head in astonishment. "It's… incredible. Terrible, evil…but incredible."

Tris looks to one of the screens and I follow her gaze. Three men stand together on the first floor. They stand close together, encircled in a ring of armed Dauntless- programmed to kill.

"Tobias," she says, tense. "Now!"

I sprint to the computer, and begin tapping the screen. The information comes easily to me. Tris stares at the screen. The codes make sense in my mind and I keep tapping. My fingers flit across the keys.

She gasps and I know someone's gun has gone off. I was _almost done_. I watch the screen. The trio in the middle move after a few moments, and Dauntless close in around them.

"Tobias," Tris says.

I touch the screen one last time and the world in the screen stops.

The arms of the Dauntless drop. Their heads shake. Their guns clatter to the floor. They shout. They shove. They fall to their knees- realizing what they have done.

Tris sits down, sighing deeply.

I shrink down to be level with the computer and begin to take the side of the case off.

"I have to get the data," I explain, "or they'll just start the simulation again."

"Got," I say after a moment. I see onscreen that our world is unraveling, and I pull my eyes away. I don't want to watch. I give the hard drive to Tris, and she stuffs it in her back pocket.

"We have to leave," she says, standing up and points to the screen. She looks so shaken I don't even know how to offer her help in any way.

"Yes, we do," I stand too and put an arm around her shoulders. "Come on."

We walk through the dark hallway. We walk around a corner and towards the elevator. Tris searches for something but I can't imagine what. On the way to into the elevator she screams and it gurgles in her throat. She turns away and vomits on a wall. She sinks to the ground and her body shakes. All this death must bother her. I don't blame her.

I watch her and she rises quickly, and doesn't look back.

We don't speak in the elevator. I think she's in a daze, her eyes blank, her face slack, her posture defeated. We step out. Sunlight hits my eyes in an almost painful way.

As soon as we walk out, the boy with my father and Peter runs to her. Tris collapses against him, clutching him close.

"Dad?" he says.

She shakes her head.

I make the connection.

This is her brother, Caleb.

The man who she saw dead and made her vomit was her father.

"Well," he says now, "he would have wanted it that way."

I walk toward her, but my eyes lift beyond them to Peter, and…my father. I stop walking. I freeze. I can't move. All I see is a belt coming to hit me- walls enclosing me as I curl up in a ball. Angry eyes. A stern, demanding jaw.

I feel him hold me in a hug- a poisonous touch to my skin. I don't return the hug- but I swallow- so hard it hurts my throat.

"Son," Marcus, my father, says, heaving a sigh. But I am not his son. I wince at the word.

"Hey," I hear Tris. She wriggles between my father and I and pushes him back firmly. "Hey. Get away from him." Her body rebounds a little into mine. I try to calm my breathing- forcing my lungs to expand and contract normally, but I feel leather tightening around my wrists anyway.

"Stay away," Tris repeats.

"Beatrice, what are you doing?" her brother asks.

"Tris," I say. My body shakes and I want to thank her.

"Not all those Erudite articles were full of lies," she says, staring him down.

"What are you talking about?" he asks calmly. "I don't know what you've been told, Beatrice, but-"

"The only reason I haven't shot you yet is because he's the one who should get to do it," she says, cutting him off. "Stay away from him or I'll decide I no longer care."

My hands slide over her arms and I squeeze- she's looking out for me. But I don't want to kill him for some reason. I've been working on kindness and _now_ it decides to kick in.

"We have to go," I say, in a shaky voice. "the train should be here any second."

We walk to the train tracks. I try to contain my emotions within me.

"Sorry," Tris says, so only I can hear it.

"You have nothing to be sorry for," I say, grabbing her hand for stability.

"If we take the train in the opposite direction, out of the city instead of in, we can get to Amity headquarters," she says. "That's where the others went."

"What about Candor?" her brother asks. "What do you think they'll do?" No one answers as we all think. We keep standing and I look down at her. She looks like she's going to collapse on the grass at any moment, so I pick her up. Her head leans against my shoulder and her weight grows a little heavier as she allows herself to relax- but she's still pretty easy to hold.

A few moments pass and I hear the train in the distance. I set Tris down and we struggle on the train. Tris sits down and I sit between her and Marcus and Peter. I pull her in to me and we scrunch up, protecting ourselves from the world around us, and there is barely any room between us.

"My parents," she says. "They died today." She pauses. "They died for _me_."

I feel guilt starting from my heart them stretching out into my fingers and toes. My father had distracted me so much I had forgotten to check on her- and I didn't even know about her mother. "They loved you," I say. I think about how they were in Abnegation. "To them there was no other way to show you."

She nods, but her misty eyes don't meet mine.

"You nearly died today," I say. "I almost shot you. Why didn't you shoot me, Tris?" That question has been tugging at my mind, and I don't know how she handed the gun to me, knowing I was under a simulation.

"I couldn't do that," she says. "It would have been like shooting myself."

I feel a stab in my side that turns into a subtle warmth and spreads through my body. I lean into her so when I talk my lips stumble happily over hers.

"I have something to tell you." I say- and I do. I'm not sure when I decided this- but I know- maybe I knew all along.

"I might be in love with you." I smile a little. There's no _might_ about it- but after what she told me and the day she's had- I don't want to alarm her. "I'm waiting until I'm sure to tell you, though."

"That's sensible of you," she says, a smile lighting up her tired eyes. "We should find some paper so you can make a list or a chart or something."

I laugh silently and my nose skims her jaw line as I kiss beneath her ear. I move my mouth next to her ear. "Maybe I'm already sure," I say, "and I just don't want to frighten you."

Now she laughs for a second. "Then you should know me better."

"Fine," I say. "Then I love you." I smile a little. I don't exactly expect her to say it back. I just wanted to tell her, and she will tell me when she's ready.

She kisses me, nice and slow. I set a hand on her knee, and she eventually pulls away. I want to kiss her again, but there _are_ other people on this train.

She takes the hard drive from her pocket. This small piece of metal that turned a whole faction into murders. That Jeanine made to mind control a whole population. That almost made me _kill_ the girl I'm in love with.

She turns it in her hands then grasps it close, bringing it to rest against her chest.

She leans her head on my shoulder and closes her eyes, taking a deep breath. I know I won't be able to sleep for a while, but I hope she can. I hope she can for a long time because when she wakes up everything will sink in for her- the grief, the terror, the pain.

My mind shifts to how to defeat Jeanine, but I don't know how. No one does- but together we might be able to. After all, we are Dauntless.

**TA-DA! so I hoped the story lived up to at least some of the expectations! Thanks so much for reading and as always, I'd love to hear your opinion! :) **


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